Top five shows I would pay to watch that aren't on TV
So I am here watching Thanksgiving marathon TV. One of the highlights has been table tennis.
Now for the shows Dave wants.
Just off the list:
Darts. It's already showing already every blue moon on Fox sports International. But really, its the most compelling moment to moment sport. Between the camera angles (perfectly capturing the moment of impact with a glory that parallels NFL films) and the announcers who are so bloody into it that they make the most simple of sports extremely exciting (like darts, for example).
Lookwell.
Adam West plays a former Tv star who used to be a cop who now becomes a cop. Written by Conan and Robert Smigel (of Triumph the Dog fame)
The best pilot never picked up.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0196712/combined
Playmates/ non-nude models vs. Female pop star twister.
Hey this is my blog and my dream.
Now for the top five.
5. Animal vs. Animal.
Just constant footage of specific animals battling each other. Dog vs. cats. Mongoose vs. Pythons. Alligators vs. Hippos. And no this has nothing to do with my current Animal Planet fix.
4. D list actor dating reality show.
Reality only because the actor doesn't know the joke is on them. Can you thing of anything more perversely comical than watching Corey Feldman struggle to get chicks at bars, trying to get them to remember the movies and TV shows he was in. Then the bitter time when he fails would be unreal.
3. Coked up movie reviews from the 70's version of every major media critic.
Ebert: You know... You know what I loved about this movie. It was the fucking brilliance, the fucking goddammed brilliance of Brad Pitt eating. He does it in every scene and it really...
Maltin: Wait. You know what was even better was the fucking twists and turns did you even see that coming.
Roeper: Wait. Man Don Cheadle was the fucking man. For those of you who don't know that's not Don Cheadle's real accent.
Maltin: See this is why these people don't get it. I mean, this guy has been around for 10 years and he's always been brilliant yet know one knows him.
Ebert: they wouldn't know Cheadle if he walked up to him in shirt that said "I'm Don"
Maltin: "Fucking Cheadle." you know what the thing is. People only want to care about the people in People.
Roeper: So our review for Chicken Little is three thumbs down.
Maltin: but you're going to go see it anyway. Fucking breeders.
Ebert: This is why the cinema sucks, you people keep shitting out kids. Watch Arrested Development you assholes.
2. Commercial hour. followed by the footage of building being imploded.
Just a solid hour of old commercials. From the old hard alcohol adds in the 70's before they stopped, then Hallmark adds, then commercials for toy's from the 80's.
Imagine if we had Mask or Transformers adds. And every one could relish the joys of the My Buddy and Kid Sister adds.
"My buddy.
My Buddy.
My Buddy and me."
1. Beer Pong pro leagues.
Beriut with Hoosier rules.
Set on a table at One Dorwart height.
Live ball after the second bounce.
No match shot.
Make it take it.
1 batch of 6 cups with 2 beers each for each player.
No paddle, two ping bong balls.
Blowouts allowed.
Recalibration at 6 cups.
All episodes must open to St. Elmo's fire.
162 match season with 8 playoff teams.
in short, Dave's college dream.
Now for the shows Dave wants.
Just off the list:
Darts. It's already showing already every blue moon on Fox sports International. But really, its the most compelling moment to moment sport. Between the camera angles (perfectly capturing the moment of impact with a glory that parallels NFL films) and the announcers who are so bloody into it that they make the most simple of sports extremely exciting (like darts, for example).
Lookwell.
Adam West plays a former Tv star who used to be a cop who now becomes a cop. Written by Conan and Robert Smigel (of Triumph the Dog fame)
The best pilot never picked up.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0196712/combined
Playmates/ non-nude models vs. Female pop star twister.
Hey this is my blog and my dream.
Now for the top five.
5. Animal vs. Animal.
Just constant footage of specific animals battling each other. Dog vs. cats. Mongoose vs. Pythons. Alligators vs. Hippos. And no this has nothing to do with my current Animal Planet fix.
4. D list actor dating reality show.
Reality only because the actor doesn't know the joke is on them. Can you thing of anything more perversely comical than watching Corey Feldman struggle to get chicks at bars, trying to get them to remember the movies and TV shows he was in. Then the bitter time when he fails would be unreal.
3. Coked up movie reviews from the 70's version of every major media critic.
Ebert: You know... You know what I loved about this movie. It was the fucking brilliance, the fucking goddammed brilliance of Brad Pitt eating. He does it in every scene and it really...
Maltin: Wait. You know what was even better was the fucking twists and turns did you even see that coming.
Roeper: Wait. Man Don Cheadle was the fucking man. For those of you who don't know that's not Don Cheadle's real accent.
Maltin: See this is why these people don't get it. I mean, this guy has been around for 10 years and he's always been brilliant yet know one knows him.
Ebert: they wouldn't know Cheadle if he walked up to him in shirt that said "I'm Don"
Maltin: "Fucking Cheadle." you know what the thing is. People only want to care about the people in People.
Roeper: So our review for Chicken Little is three thumbs down.
Maltin: but you're going to go see it anyway. Fucking breeders.
Ebert: This is why the cinema sucks, you people keep shitting out kids. Watch Arrested Development you assholes.
2. Commercial hour. followed by the footage of building being imploded.
Just a solid hour of old commercials. From the old hard alcohol adds in the 70's before they stopped, then Hallmark adds, then commercials for toy's from the 80's.
Imagine if we had Mask or Transformers adds. And every one could relish the joys of the My Buddy and Kid Sister adds.
"My buddy.
My Buddy.
My Buddy and me."
1. Beer Pong pro leagues.
Beriut with Hoosier rules.
Set on a table at One Dorwart height.
Live ball after the second bounce.
No match shot.
Make it take it.
1 batch of 6 cups with 2 beers each for each player.
No paddle, two ping bong balls.
Blowouts allowed.
Recalibration at 6 cups.
All episodes must open to St. Elmo's fire.
162 match season with 8 playoff teams.
in short, Dave's college dream.
posted by Indiana at
11:58 PM
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