Sire alignment.
Really, what are the odds of Paris Hilton making a good song? I mean it’s got to be Infinity minus 1 to 1. The Kansas City Royals have a lesser chance of running the table and getting to the World Series only to lose to the Spungos.
For all you haters out there… Wait I am channeling Britney’s pre-divorce poem to the fans. And before I get back to the blonde bombshell who f’d all of LA, let’s spend some brief time on Brit.
So now she is done with Marriage #2. Or 1 1/2 , if the Vegas quickie is filtered in. It’s not only that we all saw it coming, it’s a wonder why she kept sleeping with the guy. I mean, after one baby and living with the retard, you have to wonder, why in gods name did she have sex with him again. They haven’t been photo’d together in something like 80 days, and she’s in her first trimester. They must have the greatest makeup sex in the world.
What does this tell you about hot girls and women in general? 98% of the time, they pick the wrong guy. When a guy has two kids and his lone marketable skill is being a backup dancer, he’s got to be the greatest fuck in the history of mankind. I can’t think of a lone guy in the world (from 2003 and to infinity-and beyond-) who would say: “All things being… if I could have the skills and looks of any I would pick Kevin Federline.” This was the kind of guy in high school who nobody liked. He picks his identity as a cutoff form of Urbanism, dumb enough to cop someone else’s culture and mannerisms as an act for identity. Who is the real Kevin Federline? Is he a guy who hung out with the black kids in school? Is he that annoying wigger kid who wanted to be hard, but wasn’t good at any sports but could dance? Was he just cool kid? Did he possess a legendary cock whose legend passed trough the halls of the school?
I can only come to two conclusions:
1. This guy makes Cassanova look like Steve (not Stephan) Urkel (not Ourkell).
2. Britney always wanted to fuck a black guy but knew it would kill her racist southern fanbase.
If it’s # 1, then god bless her. It’s almost a cosmic rule that the greatest lovers are the worst mates, and the most loving are the worst to mate with. To give someone you love a good romp in the sack, you have to momentarily treat them like a piece of meat, more physical, more intense, giving them coyness and roughness and no affection from after foreplay until the cuddle. Soulmates have to disengage all view of the person, as they have to treat them as ethereal outposts of a spirit, it’s an out of body relationship, and maybe why the happy AND sexual married couples go into role play.
If it’s #2, we know that Usher is right out as he’d only cut her hair real short and act like Ennis with Michelle Williams in Brokeback Mountain. She could have had 50 cent, Thierry Henry, and given that Jesus may have been black, I am sure he would have returned if he knew the son of the lord could hit that.
In 2004, Britney was on top of the world, she kissed Madonna on stage, her single Toxic was the best song of her reign since Baby One More Time, and she came out of the J-Tim breakup looking like the winner.
Then all of her de-skankifying unraveled. She Vegas married a guy named Jason Alexander (I find the salted meats to be the most sensual), and helped the city move away from a family friendly place to a nation’s permanent Woodstock, where if you didn’t get laid, you weren’t really there. In the 90’s it was a family destination, now, whatever happens there… may result in an STD.
I have met Britney Spears in limited sorts more than five times. While I am doubtful that she would recognize me, I would give K-Fed 30% odds of recognizing me. As little as a year ago, it would have been 70%, but the guy does more weed and coke than Charlie Sheen on a bender. At the hotel I worked at on Wilshire and Ocean, he would come out at 7:30 in the AM, get into his car, stay there for about 15 minutes, and then ask us to move his car.
If I was asked, I would have failed a drug test due to contact high.
My best memory of my contacts with the dethroned princess? During her first pregnancy, she and K-Fed drove up to the hotel. We weren’t expecting her, but we never knew. She pulls to the side of the driveway, runs out of the car and into the hotel. We thought, maybe she left something inside. Eight minutes later, she comes back out of the hotel, waddling with a pregnant belly, and gets back into the car and drives off.
She had stopped at a hotel to drop a deuce, and best of all, she did the whole process barefoot. You don’t have to go to the inland empire to find white trash out here after all.
When I was 12 or so, my Uncle showed me a graph he made and had blown up via Kinko’s. It was a 25x25 chart which depicted both Napoleon and Hitler’s military conquest into Russia. Red represented das Furher and blue was the little man, yet both plots showed the same, they went into Russia with the greatest of forces and came out with almost nothing.
That’s the only historic point I can think of to compare when it comes to Britney’s marriage to Federline. She went in with everything going for her, and came out a sorry loser who continually lost believers as they realized their leader’s fraudulence and incompetence.
If one is from the Red States and full of belief in a Christian God, this is comeuppance on Earth. She sold sex, and used the works of the devil to achieve wealth, and ultimately, she was taken down out of transgression. Maybe K-Fed was God punishing her. Making her suffer for desires of flesh, and ruining her name in the process; it seems like a test of Jonah, if she can make it through this, she deserves her baptism.
Maybe that’s god working. He punished a woman who took every sinful path to reach fame and fortune by sending Kevin Federline to her.
But then it comes back to Paris Hilton.
Look first, but then listen.
Shouldn’t this have been the worst thing possibly imaginable by all accounts of a balance in the world?
As a man struggling with his own spirituality, I ask, how could this happen?
Is this a test to humanity not to hate those better off than them?
Is this proof of the lack of god’s presence since 9/11?
Is the path of Mary Magdalene the only course for redemption and acceptance as a full person in society?
Does he even exist, and if he does, how could he let this happen.
Paris’s album is currently postponed as she made a far past conceivable request to delayt the album so she could include a cover of Gnarls Barkely’s Crazy.
I am going to quote Simpsons here again:
Homer: You sure you don’t want to join our civil war reenactment? We’ll need plenty of Indians to shoot.
Apu: I don’t’ know which part of that sentence to correct first.
Considering the plight of Britney Spears almost has to believe thing there is a God with a wheel of fortune, gauging success and crimes against humanity. She got what she deserved, and she is a laughing stock. That’s balance, right.
But Paris contradicts should kill every notion of faith. I mean, she was a person who is only famous because she was born rich, semi-hot, and was a total lush. She was famous for being famous. (cosmic)
But now, she releases a song that doesn’t suck. And all of my heart wants to discount it, but it’s a shade away from fucking great. Even if during the chorus she sounds like Gwen S. you have to wonder, but I mean…
Even with the news that her album is being pushed back because she wants to add a cover of Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy,” which is incomprehensible in itself, I have no ounce of hate for her right now.
“What is the word for the opposite of shame?”
“Pride?”
“No not that…”
“Less shame?”
Maybe that’s it. The slut finally proved her worth, and all axioms make her all the more envious.
Yet, if her single bombs, isn’t that America “Right NOW,” where we turn against everyone for doing something different? All odds point to this being her Waterloo, where she finally out-graces our goodwill.
People are suddenly getting sick of Paris because they are tired of the act. After Page 6, after a sex tape, after Nic Richie, after Matt Leinart, what is left for her?
If she fails for doing something good, is that going to be her end?
That may be karma and balance.
Cosmic???
For all you haters out there… Wait I am channeling Britney’s pre-divorce poem to the fans. And before I get back to the blonde bombshell who f’d all of LA, let’s spend some brief time on Brit.
So now she is done with Marriage #2. Or 1 1/2 , if the Vegas quickie is filtered in. It’s not only that we all saw it coming, it’s a wonder why she kept sleeping with the guy. I mean, after one baby and living with the retard, you have to wonder, why in gods name did she have sex with him again. They haven’t been photo’d together in something like 80 days, and she’s in her first trimester. They must have the greatest makeup sex in the world.
What does this tell you about hot girls and women in general? 98% of the time, they pick the wrong guy. When a guy has two kids and his lone marketable skill is being a backup dancer, he’s got to be the greatest fuck in the history of mankind. I can’t think of a lone guy in the world (from 2003 and to infinity-and beyond-) who would say: “All things being… if I could have the skills and looks of any I would pick Kevin Federline.” This was the kind of guy in high school who nobody liked. He picks his identity as a cutoff form of Urbanism, dumb enough to cop someone else’s culture and mannerisms as an act for identity. Who is the real Kevin Federline? Is he a guy who hung out with the black kids in school? Is he that annoying wigger kid who wanted to be hard, but wasn’t good at any sports but could dance? Was he just cool kid? Did he possess a legendary cock whose legend passed trough the halls of the school?
I can only come to two conclusions:
1. This guy makes Cassanova look like Steve (not Stephan) Urkel (not Ourkell).
2. Britney always wanted to fuck a black guy but knew it would kill her racist southern fanbase.
If it’s # 1, then god bless her. It’s almost a cosmic rule that the greatest lovers are the worst mates, and the most loving are the worst to mate with. To give someone you love a good romp in the sack, you have to momentarily treat them like a piece of meat, more physical, more intense, giving them coyness and roughness and no affection from after foreplay until the cuddle. Soulmates have to disengage all view of the person, as they have to treat them as ethereal outposts of a spirit, it’s an out of body relationship, and maybe why the happy AND sexual married couples go into role play.
If it’s #2, we know that Usher is right out as he’d only cut her hair real short and act like Ennis with Michelle Williams in Brokeback Mountain. She could have had 50 cent, Thierry Henry, and given that Jesus may have been black, I am sure he would have returned if he knew the son of the lord could hit that.
In 2004, Britney was on top of the world, she kissed Madonna on stage, her single Toxic was the best song of her reign since Baby One More Time, and she came out of the J-Tim breakup looking like the winner.
Then all of her de-skankifying unraveled. She Vegas married a guy named Jason Alexander (I find the salted meats to be the most sensual), and helped the city move away from a family friendly place to a nation’s permanent Woodstock, where if you didn’t get laid, you weren’t really there. In the 90’s it was a family destination, now, whatever happens there… may result in an STD.
I have met Britney Spears in limited sorts more than five times. While I am doubtful that she would recognize me, I would give K-Fed 30% odds of recognizing me. As little as a year ago, it would have been 70%, but the guy does more weed and coke than Charlie Sheen on a bender. At the hotel I worked at on Wilshire and Ocean, he would come out at 7:30 in the AM, get into his car, stay there for about 15 minutes, and then ask us to move his car.
If I was asked, I would have failed a drug test due to contact high.
My best memory of my contacts with the dethroned princess? During her first pregnancy, she and K-Fed drove up to the hotel. We weren’t expecting her, but we never knew. She pulls to the side of the driveway, runs out of the car and into the hotel. We thought, maybe she left something inside. Eight minutes later, she comes back out of the hotel, waddling with a pregnant belly, and gets back into the car and drives off.
She had stopped at a hotel to drop a deuce, and best of all, she did the whole process barefoot. You don’t have to go to the inland empire to find white trash out here after all.
When I was 12 or so, my Uncle showed me a graph he made and had blown up via Kinko’s. It was a 25x25 chart which depicted both Napoleon and Hitler’s military conquest into Russia. Red represented das Furher and blue was the little man, yet both plots showed the same, they went into Russia with the greatest of forces and came out with almost nothing.
That’s the only historic point I can think of to compare when it comes to Britney’s marriage to Federline. She went in with everything going for her, and came out a sorry loser who continually lost believers as they realized their leader’s fraudulence and incompetence.
If one is from the Red States and full of belief in a Christian God, this is comeuppance on Earth. She sold sex, and used the works of the devil to achieve wealth, and ultimately, she was taken down out of transgression. Maybe K-Fed was God punishing her. Making her suffer for desires of flesh, and ruining her name in the process; it seems like a test of Jonah, if she can make it through this, she deserves her baptism.
Maybe that’s god working. He punished a woman who took every sinful path to reach fame and fortune by sending Kevin Federline to her.
But then it comes back to Paris Hilton.
Look first, but then listen.
Shouldn’t this have been the worst thing possibly imaginable by all accounts of a balance in the world?
As a man struggling with his own spirituality, I ask, how could this happen?
Is this a test to humanity not to hate those better off than them?
Is this proof of the lack of god’s presence since 9/11?
Is the path of Mary Magdalene the only course for redemption and acceptance as a full person in society?
Does he even exist, and if he does, how could he let this happen.
Paris’s album is currently postponed as she made a far past conceivable request to delayt the album so she could include a cover of Gnarls Barkely’s Crazy.
I am going to quote Simpsons here again:
Homer: You sure you don’t want to join our civil war reenactment? We’ll need plenty of Indians to shoot.
Apu: I don’t’ know which part of that sentence to correct first.
Considering the plight of Britney Spears almost has to believe thing there is a God with a wheel of fortune, gauging success and crimes against humanity. She got what she deserved, and she is a laughing stock. That’s balance, right.
But Paris contradicts should kill every notion of faith. I mean, she was a person who is only famous because she was born rich, semi-hot, and was a total lush. She was famous for being famous. (cosmic)
But now, she releases a song that doesn’t suck. And all of my heart wants to discount it, but it’s a shade away from fucking great. Even if during the chorus she sounds like Gwen S. you have to wonder, but I mean…
Even with the news that her album is being pushed back because she wants to add a cover of Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy,” which is incomprehensible in itself, I have no ounce of hate for her right now.
“What is the word for the opposite of shame?”
“Pride?”
“No not that…”
“Less shame?”
Maybe that’s it. The slut finally proved her worth, and all axioms make her all the more envious.
Yet, if her single bombs, isn’t that America “Right NOW,” where we turn against everyone for doing something different? All odds point to this being her Waterloo, where she finally out-graces our goodwill.
People are suddenly getting sick of Paris because they are tired of the act. After Page 6, after a sex tape, after Nic Richie, after Matt Leinart, what is left for her?
If she fails for doing something good, is that going to be her end?
That may be karma and balance.
Cosmic???
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