Music one of two for Tuesday
There’s funny, and then there is the last 5 minutes of MTV’s Yo Momma. Just hearing Wilmer V stumble with his accent as he calls it “cash money” (sounds like CASs Monee).
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Fergie (she of little talent and the Black Eyed Peas) is in Poseidon. I could go on a rant about putting hip hop stars in movies, but when they are in a life or death situation, the shaddedfruend (sic) is worthwhile. If I know she dies, I will pay to see that Junker of a film.
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On another note, Bow Wow is in the third Fast and the Furious. It’s going to be the first time in cinema history where the shortest actor in a film is not Asian. I mean, it’s like the reverse of game of death with Kareem and Bruce Lee.
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Speaking of Fergie and the Peas, after 160 weeks they have been relieved of the title of “most commercially pandering, vapid, awful song about a serious social topic” as Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park side project Fort Minor knocked off “Where’s the Love” with the “where’d you go.”
“Where’d you go
I miss you so.”
I always wondered why half of their songs were decent and the other sounded like rock/prog Britney Spears. Shinoda cannot write a rhyme better than a four year old. Cosmicly bad. I suppose the old axiom holds true, never underestimate how bad a song can be when one of the principles has a song whose chorus was a shouting of SHUT UP.
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The new Mariah Carey single really pisses me off, not because it’s shitty and MTV / clear channel are pumping it, or even because Mariah is nearing 40 and still singing about love like she was 15, but mainly because the song seems less like a single, but like the result of a DJ scratching together Mariah tracks and fading Snoop Dogg in every 10 seconds. It sounds like a DJ’s hypermix without a heavy hard four club beat
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Just when I think hip hop has the market for self promotion and aggrandizing monopolized, I tune over to K-roq to catch the end of Tom DeLounge’s press tour for his upcoming Angels and Airwaves tour.
The raw smugness of it was unreal. I am going to paraphrase from memory here:
“I feel like a lot of people don’t get what rock and roll is anymore. I wanted to re-create it for a new generation. What we are doing with the project is a combination of media, meant to overwhelm the senses and put you in another world of enlightenment. Too many people are living negatively; I want this music to change it. This whole project is geared to reestablishing a world many of my fans never knew of, to bridge the gap, and to forge ahead with our new form of music. We are going to redefine rock music for this generation.”
(Bean, half jokingly)”Wow, I am just going to go to the beach this summer, you’re trying to save rock and roll.”
DeLounge: “This is going to be a reinvention, and if it saves the rock and roll world, or the world itself, well, I know I did my job.”
With not even a pretense of humility, or doubt, DeLounge sounded like he had just made Sgt. Pepper, The Dark Side of the Moon, Ok Computer, and went back in time and saved Lincoln from being shot. Try watching the movies
First off Tom, when you make prog rock, you have to under-write the lyrics, the vaguer the better. The voice is meant to be part of the fold, and if the lyrics make more sense when you are high, that’s a step.
Anymore than 200 –repeated words not counted- words in a song and you better have written something equal or better than Yes. Sung words are supposed to span seconds, creating an ethereal sense and complimenting the high. You can’t pass off ditzy fourth grade poetry about science fiction if you sing it the same way you do in a pop-punk band. To some extent, the faster we understand, the less impressive your writing seems. And having a killer guitar riff that opens the song fade out when the vocals come in (with no attempt at harmony), is like having buying a three million dollar beat from Pharell and just shouting your name over it. It didn’t work for Spacehog, it didn’t work for the Offspring, and it’s not working here.
Just because you started to listen to Pink Floyd and Radiohead, read Steven Ambrose, and got baked and watched 2001 again, then decided to combine the three doesn’t mean that your output is going to be better than all three combined. I know your conscience must be getting to you, “All the fame I have is because I ran around naked and mocked Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. What do I have as a legacy? As an artist? Box Car Racer? Even I know that was a Blink 182 ripoff where I was the lead singer instead of Mark.
Wait. I’ll make a rock band for humanity!
Excelsior!”
On a side note, Kanye has already copied all of this for his next promotional tour.
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I guess it probably says more about me that I am completely geeked out at the upcoming Lupe Fiasco album. Nerd rap by a Muslim from Chicago means so much esoteric value for all of us who want to like hip hop but can’t get past the clichés of the albums, if someone were to attack Ameoba records on the day it is released, the entire LA music blogging community would perish.
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And finally, the best link I have seen in a while:
http://pitchforkmedia.com/features/weekly/worst-album-covers/index.shtml
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Fergie (she of little talent and the Black Eyed Peas) is in Poseidon. I could go on a rant about putting hip hop stars in movies, but when they are in a life or death situation, the shaddedfruend (sic) is worthwhile. If I know she dies, I will pay to see that Junker of a film.
+
On another note, Bow Wow is in the third Fast and the Furious. It’s going to be the first time in cinema history where the shortest actor in a film is not Asian. I mean, it’s like the reverse of game of death with Kareem and Bruce Lee.
+
Speaking of Fergie and the Peas, after 160 weeks they have been relieved of the title of “most commercially pandering, vapid, awful song about a serious social topic” as Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park side project Fort Minor knocked off “Where’s the Love” with the “where’d you go.”
“Where’d you go
I miss you so.”
I always wondered why half of their songs were decent and the other sounded like rock/prog Britney Spears. Shinoda cannot write a rhyme better than a four year old. Cosmicly bad. I suppose the old axiom holds true, never underestimate how bad a song can be when one of the principles has a song whose chorus was a shouting of SHUT UP.
+
The new Mariah Carey single really pisses me off, not because it’s shitty and MTV / clear channel are pumping it, or even because Mariah is nearing 40 and still singing about love like she was 15, but mainly because the song seems less like a single, but like the result of a DJ scratching together Mariah tracks and fading Snoop Dogg in every 10 seconds. It sounds like a DJ’s hypermix without a heavy hard four club beat
+
Just when I think hip hop has the market for self promotion and aggrandizing monopolized, I tune over to K-roq to catch the end of Tom DeLounge’s press tour for his upcoming Angels and Airwaves tour.
The raw smugness of it was unreal. I am going to paraphrase from memory here:
“I feel like a lot of people don’t get what rock and roll is anymore. I wanted to re-create it for a new generation. What we are doing with the project is a combination of media, meant to overwhelm the senses and put you in another world of enlightenment. Too many people are living negatively; I want this music to change it. This whole project is geared to reestablishing a world many of my fans never knew of, to bridge the gap, and to forge ahead with our new form of music. We are going to redefine rock music for this generation.”
(Bean, half jokingly)”Wow, I am just going to go to the beach this summer, you’re trying to save rock and roll.”
DeLounge: “This is going to be a reinvention, and if it saves the rock and roll world, or the world itself, well, I know I did my job.”
With not even a pretense of humility, or doubt, DeLounge sounded like he had just made Sgt. Pepper, The Dark Side of the Moon, Ok Computer, and went back in time and saved Lincoln from being shot. Try watching the movies
First off Tom, when you make prog rock, you have to under-write the lyrics, the vaguer the better. The voice is meant to be part of the fold, and if the lyrics make more sense when you are high, that’s a step.
Anymore than 200 –repeated words not counted- words in a song and you better have written something equal or better than Yes. Sung words are supposed to span seconds, creating an ethereal sense and complimenting the high. You can’t pass off ditzy fourth grade poetry about science fiction if you sing it the same way you do in a pop-punk band. To some extent, the faster we understand, the less impressive your writing seems. And having a killer guitar riff that opens the song fade out when the vocals come in (with no attempt at harmony), is like having buying a three million dollar beat from Pharell and just shouting your name over it. It didn’t work for Spacehog, it didn’t work for the Offspring, and it’s not working here.
Just because you started to listen to Pink Floyd and Radiohead, read Steven Ambrose, and got baked and watched 2001 again, then decided to combine the three doesn’t mean that your output is going to be better than all three combined. I know your conscience must be getting to you, “All the fame I have is because I ran around naked and mocked Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. What do I have as a legacy? As an artist? Box Car Racer? Even I know that was a Blink 182 ripoff where I was the lead singer instead of Mark.
Wait. I’ll make a rock band for humanity!
Excelsior!”
On a side note, Kanye has already copied all of this for his next promotional tour.
+
I guess it probably says more about me that I am completely geeked out at the upcoming Lupe Fiasco album. Nerd rap by a Muslim from Chicago means so much esoteric value for all of us who want to like hip hop but can’t get past the clichés of the albums, if someone were to attack Ameoba records on the day it is released, the entire LA music blogging community would perish.
+
And finally, the best link I have seen in a while:
http://pitchforkmedia.com/features/weekly/worst-album-covers/index.shtml
posted by Indiana at
9:12 AM
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