Sit back, relax, and pull up a stool:
Ever since my CD player went out, I turned to the radio. With the exception of 89.9’s morning becomes eclectic and Indie 103.1, there isn’t much worth listening to outside of talk radio. And given how bad the sports radio is out here, the homogenized efficiency of ESPN radio is hurt.
The top ten radio shows is another post entirely, and me and Steaze may collaborate on that one.
But for now, a little bit about Conway and Whitman on 97.1 Free FM have one of the more entertaining of the mindless lineup on LA’s FM talk station. From 8-11 Mon – Fri they have a rather loose flowing comic show, both of them are based in comic roots and with decent timing.
One of their best segments is caller heavy, as they just set up a prize for the caller with the best joke. The upside is the very genial atmosphere, akin to shooting the shit with friends. The downside is that every third joke is weakly racist, not in the whitey can’t dance way, but that Puerto Ricans are lazy type of setup. Not only are the bad jokes, they are not even funny in a racist way.
Thankfully there are gems like this one.
An old man sits on his porch in the afternoon when he sees a young kid go by with a couple of rolls of duct tape.
He asks the boy: “Where you going?”
The boy responds: “To catch some ducks!”
The old man retorts: “That’s duct tape, with a T, not duck. You can’t catch water fowl with that!”
The young boy shrugs and walks away.
A few hours later, the young boy comes back with three ducks in tow. The old man is befuddled.
The next day the young boy walks by again. The old man peers up from his rocking chair and calls to him.
“What you got this time?”
“I got me some chicken wire. I’m gonna catch me some chickens for dinner.”
The old man guffaws and gives him a wave.
Three hours later, the young boy comes back with five or six chickens wrapped up in the chicken wire. The old man is still taken aback.
A few days pass when the young boy passes by again. The old man stands up and waits for the boy to notice him.
“What you got today, young man?”
“I got some pussywillow”
The old man stops for a second, and then says to the boy, “Hold up, I’m gonna go get my hat.”
AND scene.
And while not on the show, here is another of my favorites:
As far as complicated setups and deliberate payoffs go, this is one of my favorite jokes. It’s top heavy, it was the Greek angle (always a plus) and destroys the English (PRESENT DAY AMERICA #1)
There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the
following people are stranded:
* 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
* 2 French men and 1 French woman
* 2 German men and 1 German woman
* 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
* 2 English men and 1 English woman
* 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
* 2 Swedish men and 1 Swedish woman
* 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
One month later on this beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere....
* The 1 Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman.
* The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in
a "menage a trois".
* The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they
alternate with the German woman.
* The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is
cleaning and cooking for them.
* The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the
English woman.
* The Bulgarian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look at
the woman and started swimming.
* The 2 Swedish men are contemplating the virtues of suicide while the
woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own and the true
nature of feminism. But at least it's not snowing and the taxes are
low.
* The Irish began by dividing their island Northside-Southside and
setting up a distillery. They don't remember if sex is in the picture,
cause it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of
coconut-whiskey, but at least they know the English aren't getting
any.
The top ten radio shows is another post entirely, and me and Steaze may collaborate on that one.
But for now, a little bit about Conway and Whitman on 97.1 Free FM have one of the more entertaining of the mindless lineup on LA’s FM talk station. From 8-11 Mon – Fri they have a rather loose flowing comic show, both of them are based in comic roots and with decent timing.
One of their best segments is caller heavy, as they just set up a prize for the caller with the best joke. The upside is the very genial atmosphere, akin to shooting the shit with friends. The downside is that every third joke is weakly racist, not in the whitey can’t dance way, but that Puerto Ricans are lazy type of setup. Not only are the bad jokes, they are not even funny in a racist way.
Thankfully there are gems like this one.
An old man sits on his porch in the afternoon when he sees a young kid go by with a couple of rolls of duct tape.
He asks the boy: “Where you going?”
The boy responds: “To catch some ducks!”
The old man retorts: “That’s duct tape, with a T, not duck. You can’t catch water fowl with that!”
The young boy shrugs and walks away.
A few hours later, the young boy comes back with three ducks in tow. The old man is befuddled.
The next day the young boy walks by again. The old man peers up from his rocking chair and calls to him.
“What you got this time?”
“I got me some chicken wire. I’m gonna catch me some chickens for dinner.”
The old man guffaws and gives him a wave.
Three hours later, the young boy comes back with five or six chickens wrapped up in the chicken wire. The old man is still taken aback.
A few days pass when the young boy passes by again. The old man stands up and waits for the boy to notice him.
“What you got today, young man?”
“I got some pussywillow”
The old man stops for a second, and then says to the boy, “Hold up, I’m gonna go get my hat.”
AND scene.
And while not on the show, here is another of my favorites:
As far as complicated setups and deliberate payoffs go, this is one of my favorite jokes. It’s top heavy, it was the Greek angle (always a plus) and destroys the English (PRESENT DAY AMERICA #1)
There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the
following people are stranded:
* 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
* 2 French men and 1 French woman
* 2 German men and 1 German woman
* 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
* 2 English men and 1 English woman
* 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
* 2 Swedish men and 1 Swedish woman
* 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
One month later on this beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere....
* The 1 Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman.
* The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in
a "menage a trois".
* The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they
alternate with the German woman.
* The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is
cleaning and cooking for them.
* The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the
English woman.
* The Bulgarian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look at
the woman and started swimming.
* The 2 Swedish men are contemplating the virtues of suicide while the
woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own and the true
nature of feminism. But at least it's not snowing and the taxes are
low.
* The Irish began by dividing their island Northside-Southside and
setting up a distillery. They don't remember if sex is in the picture,
cause it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of
coconut-whiskey, but at least they know the English aren't getting
any.
posted by Indiana at
6:13 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home