That's the brakes, that's the breaks
About every six weeks at my hotel, they have a NA meeting for the weekend, former narcotic users run around the place, and most of them can be lumped into one of two categories; A: Sex fiend (they come to these things looking for an orgy) B: Chain smoking Cigarette fiends. I heard a guy say he went thru a carton over a weekend. That’s like me killing a keg in the same period.
So they don’t drink, they are all desperately skinny, they always smoke or they are looking for a sexual rush to fill the void. Screw showing Requiem for a Dream to deter kids from drugs, take them to a NA meeting, these people are burdened by the single fact they can’t do what their body desperately craves. Hanging near death, looking still strung out, and forced to convene in a B rate hotel with people just like you was enough to scare me away from heavy drugs (at least for a while, but thankfully there’s another one coming up soon).
These people are terrified of the outside world, their old friends probably stopped being friends during the addiction, and they all look 10 years older due to the drugs. It’s a rotten lot in life. I got the feeling some of them wished they had died of an overdose.
Yet, I still don’t think they have it worse than lesbians. All other things being equal, I can think of few other roles that would be as aggravating as a lesbian anywhere from 24- 80.
Let’s do a top ten.
10. Men look at the same porno they do. This means that you are getting off to something someone that has no idea what it’s like to have that kind of love making is. It’s like me getting a big bowl of ice cream, cuddling up in an afghan, and watching Desperate Housewives, THEN chatting online with my mother and aunts and talking about how it relates to my life for 90 minutes.
They’re thinking about the actual act, and how it gets them in the mood, or how it was.
We’re sitting there thinking “TWO CHICKS!!! AT THE SAME TIME!!! In all honesty, most men I know would peter out at the sight of a lesbian scene like those in porn.
Come to think of it,
9. It is entirely possible that the qualified success for female liberation was successful due to the rise in Lesbian Porno. Sure, sure, you’re born equal to us, at what point do you start kissing? Subconsciously, men will agree to equal wages if it means a 1-1000 chance to see women in their panties having a pillow fight. Dangling a sexual carrot has always been a solid approach with the male gender, dangling this newfound liberation (women read voting rights, equality, men read women going out to a bar with the company after work and hooking up with that 22 year old secretary from Arizona State). We as men already know that there is little difference from day one. But we’re still angling.
8. The L word and Ellen (the sitcom):
Completely unwatchable.
7. No matter where you are, if you even come close to a PDA, everyone will look. People have been brainwashed to look away from guys kissing or holding hands. But a hug and a kiss by a gay female couple? Gawkers unite! Bad enough are the looks of a 13 year old b-b-b-boy, but they have to endure the judgmental/inquisitive stares of the women as well.
Gay men defer all stares except of those from other gay men and chicks who were aroused by Brokeback.
Women kissing in public elicit raw human emotional facets like the Hindenburg.
6. While every other (sub)-culture has icons in film and in culture, the high profile lesbians of note are few and far between, and judging on two of the top ten (Eleanor Roosevelt and Rosie O’Donnell) it’s not going to bring anyone into the fold. Gay guys have drama, they have Kevin Spacey, Ryan Seacrest, Judy Garland, and Bettie Davis; a lot of straight women and men like them. Men hate Rosie O’Donnell, and for that matter Oprah, just come on out, we know what’s his name that begins with an S is a sham.
Even worse, the whole lesbian look has been taken over by Emo/Goth guys. Ubersensitve with too much care placed on hair flips, makeup, and hair product, it’s hard to distinguish a Fall Out Boy fan from a girl who likes girls, they hide in big groups, they are struggling with their feelings, and there have been times in their life when they considered or consented to the cock.
5. Women can have gay friends. Lesbian’s can’t really have male friends. Aside from the whole When Harry Met Sally thing about men and women friendships, (yeah, we’re going to try to sleep with you, part of it’s carnal, but most of it’s almost instinctual) when men are challenged in something like Sports Knowledge, Car Mechanics, or arm wrestling. From the first days of the schoolyard, being called girly was taunt #1, and how can men be cool with that. They say “I can’t believe the Texans passed on Bush for a guy who sucked against decent talent,” we think, “Well, she knows what she’s talking about, maybe I can convert her. She’d be an AWESOME girlfriend.
4. With the exception of The Boss, when I talk to a man named Bruce or Gary, I know they are gay. Is Sue as lesbian name, what about Margaret, or Jane? If any lesbian is actually reading this, and made it thus far, get started on this. I’ll even start it for you, the name Rose. Tis now a lesbian name. Really, I think to be accepted in society, there has to be a slanderous epithet for you. I don’t think there is one that is negative enough for the accuser to feel hate. It’s almost a show of illegitimacy.
3. The definition of a lesbian for the rest of the world has got to be drastically different from the actual truth. Sure, all stereotypes are damaging, but I can think of few (if any) that are met with disappointment upon actual contact. If you are telling a horny boy or a curious girl that most lesbians look like KD Lang, you might as well tell a four year old Santa doesn’t exist. The latter would be slightly less damaging. Of this entire preconceived notion of beauty with women (the whole the female body is a work of art load) and two of them together is so far off base it’s almost comical. We can easily deem gay men as girly, but it’s nigh impossible to reason a mannish women for most people.
2. The girls born in the age of Britney Spears, Girls Gone Wild, and Ecstasy are even more sexually loose than the hippies in fuck fest ’67. Most of them hook up with other girls as a matter of course. It’s “cool” and “funny.” I’d imagine being a Grad Student lesbian or a TA at FSU must be torture. For them it would be like the straight version of going to college in the late 80’s and early 90’s paranoia about AIDS and grunge phase. Three to five years later, women are giving it away. It’s got to be a sick torture to know that the acceptance prevalent now would have made it all the easier to come to grips in the teen years, and years later, it’d be easy to fool around with the prom queen or golf team captain without ridicule. Just a horrible hand dealt by fate.
1. They have to live with a cold hard truth that every man knows: Women are completely insane.
Somewhat joking, rather serious, I really feel terrible for Lesbians, because I know that as a horny boy who liked lesbian porn as a starting point (when I was 16 I was too homophobic to even look at MF shots) and I have always dreamt of a three way with two women but am flabbergasted at why a girl would want two guys. Men and Lesbians both like women, but different kind of women, in the end, it’s a raw deal. Acceptance is there, but understanding is years if not decades away.
So they don’t drink, they are all desperately skinny, they always smoke or they are looking for a sexual rush to fill the void. Screw showing Requiem for a Dream to deter kids from drugs, take them to a NA meeting, these people are burdened by the single fact they can’t do what their body desperately craves. Hanging near death, looking still strung out, and forced to convene in a B rate hotel with people just like you was enough to scare me away from heavy drugs (at least for a while, but thankfully there’s another one coming up soon).
These people are terrified of the outside world, their old friends probably stopped being friends during the addiction, and they all look 10 years older due to the drugs. It’s a rotten lot in life. I got the feeling some of them wished they had died of an overdose.
Yet, I still don’t think they have it worse than lesbians. All other things being equal, I can think of few other roles that would be as aggravating as a lesbian anywhere from 24- 80.
Let’s do a top ten.
10. Men look at the same porno they do. This means that you are getting off to something someone that has no idea what it’s like to have that kind of love making is. It’s like me getting a big bowl of ice cream, cuddling up in an afghan, and watching Desperate Housewives, THEN chatting online with my mother and aunts and talking about how it relates to my life for 90 minutes.
They’re thinking about the actual act, and how it gets them in the mood, or how it was.
We’re sitting there thinking “TWO CHICKS!!! AT THE SAME TIME!!! In all honesty, most men I know would peter out at the sight of a lesbian scene like those in porn.
Come to think of it,
9. It is entirely possible that the qualified success for female liberation was successful due to the rise in Lesbian Porno. Sure, sure, you’re born equal to us, at what point do you start kissing? Subconsciously, men will agree to equal wages if it means a 1-1000 chance to see women in their panties having a pillow fight. Dangling a sexual carrot has always been a solid approach with the male gender, dangling this newfound liberation (women read voting rights, equality, men read women going out to a bar with the company after work and hooking up with that 22 year old secretary from Arizona State). We as men already know that there is little difference from day one. But we’re still angling.
8. The L word and Ellen (the sitcom):
Completely unwatchable.
7. No matter where you are, if you even come close to a PDA, everyone will look. People have been brainwashed to look away from guys kissing or holding hands. But a hug and a kiss by a gay female couple? Gawkers unite! Bad enough are the looks of a 13 year old b-b-b-boy, but they have to endure the judgmental/inquisitive stares of the women as well.
Gay men defer all stares except of those from other gay men and chicks who were aroused by Brokeback.
Women kissing in public elicit raw human emotional facets like the Hindenburg.
6. While every other (sub)-culture has icons in film and in culture, the high profile lesbians of note are few and far between, and judging on two of the top ten (Eleanor Roosevelt and Rosie O’Donnell) it’s not going to bring anyone into the fold. Gay guys have drama, they have Kevin Spacey, Ryan Seacrest, Judy Garland, and Bettie Davis; a lot of straight women and men like them. Men hate Rosie O’Donnell, and for that matter Oprah, just come on out, we know what’s his name that begins with an S is a sham.
Even worse, the whole lesbian look has been taken over by Emo/Goth guys. Ubersensitve with too much care placed on hair flips, makeup, and hair product, it’s hard to distinguish a Fall Out Boy fan from a girl who likes girls, they hide in big groups, they are struggling with their feelings, and there have been times in their life when they considered or consented to the cock.
5. Women can have gay friends. Lesbian’s can’t really have male friends. Aside from the whole When Harry Met Sally thing about men and women friendships, (yeah, we’re going to try to sleep with you, part of it’s carnal, but most of it’s almost instinctual) when men are challenged in something like Sports Knowledge, Car Mechanics, or arm wrestling. From the first days of the schoolyard, being called girly was taunt #1, and how can men be cool with that. They say “I can’t believe the Texans passed on Bush for a guy who sucked against decent talent,” we think, “Well, she knows what she’s talking about, maybe I can convert her. She’d be an AWESOME girlfriend.
4. With the exception of The Boss, when I talk to a man named Bruce or Gary, I know they are gay. Is Sue as lesbian name, what about Margaret, or Jane? If any lesbian is actually reading this, and made it thus far, get started on this. I’ll even start it for you, the name Rose. Tis now a lesbian name. Really, I think to be accepted in society, there has to be a slanderous epithet for you. I don’t think there is one that is negative enough for the accuser to feel hate. It’s almost a show of illegitimacy.
3. The definition of a lesbian for the rest of the world has got to be drastically different from the actual truth. Sure, all stereotypes are damaging, but I can think of few (if any) that are met with disappointment upon actual contact. If you are telling a horny boy or a curious girl that most lesbians look like KD Lang, you might as well tell a four year old Santa doesn’t exist. The latter would be slightly less damaging. Of this entire preconceived notion of beauty with women (the whole the female body is a work of art load) and two of them together is so far off base it’s almost comical. We can easily deem gay men as girly, but it’s nigh impossible to reason a mannish women for most people.
2. The girls born in the age of Britney Spears, Girls Gone Wild, and Ecstasy are even more sexually loose than the hippies in fuck fest ’67. Most of them hook up with other girls as a matter of course. It’s “cool” and “funny.” I’d imagine being a Grad Student lesbian or a TA at FSU must be torture. For them it would be like the straight version of going to college in the late 80’s and early 90’s paranoia about AIDS and grunge phase. Three to five years later, women are giving it away. It’s got to be a sick torture to know that the acceptance prevalent now would have made it all the easier to come to grips in the teen years, and years later, it’d be easy to fool around with the prom queen or golf team captain without ridicule. Just a horrible hand dealt by fate.
1. They have to live with a cold hard truth that every man knows: Women are completely insane.
Somewhat joking, rather serious, I really feel terrible for Lesbians, because I know that as a horny boy who liked lesbian porn as a starting point (when I was 16 I was too homophobic to even look at MF shots) and I have always dreamt of a three way with two women but am flabbergasted at why a girl would want two guys. Men and Lesbians both like women, but different kind of women, in the end, it’s a raw deal. Acceptance is there, but understanding is years if not decades away.
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9:59 AM
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