Dave’s McRib for 8-16

So I found out that my co-writer doesn’t really like the Sandwich. In his typical dry fashion, it’s mainly because it’s popular.

I am starting this little bit (even though I think the only thing on this site I enjoy writing that may be useful for a career goal would be –working for MTV or VH1 and redeeming the channels to their early 90’s form [BRING BACK REMOTE CONTROL!!!]—just so I can be positive about things in 2000 words or less.

Anyway, I think of (my) McRib as a counter phrase to the old question, “What’s your beef?” best done by Adam Corolla and Jay Leno (when he used to come to the Letterman show). Someone can come up to you and say, “Hey, Jack, what’s your McRib?” upon which Jack recommends Lost Season one, and tells you about how cool it is.

So, what’s my McRib(s) for the moment?

Comedy:

I’ll start with one of the best jokes I have ever heard about masturbating, and why we do it to women we are not dating, by Louis C.K.

“Masturbating is a gift. I can think of anyone in the world, in any situation. My wife asks me: ‘when you do it, do you think of me?’ And I am like ‘are you high?’ That’s like getting a genie and three wishes and asking for: A glass of water. A napkin. And another glass of water.”

In all honesty, I am starting to think that marrying a woman you can barely stand but you have amazing sex with, and it’s mutual, may be a cogent option. I don’t want to be whacking off with my kids in the house.

So yeah, finding a woman we love who we actually are good enough in bed with that they want to have sex more than monthly, that’s what men want. It’s probably impossible.

Radio:

Jonesy’s Jukebox. I have talked about this before, but really you need to start streaming this on your computer at work. Not only is he the greatest DJ of all time (when I wrote my whole bit on music http://ineverlovedyou.blogspot.com/2005/07/i-dig-music-im-on-drugs-and-one-look.html, and about people who know music, Jones is the master. The best knowledge. First hand experience. Taste so varied that he will spin 70’s rock one day, then do Ska reggae the next, and it’s all great. Replace being a film maker with rock star, and this is who I want to be in my 40’s.)

Example: he had Patti Smith on the show last week. I mean, the female Punk icon of all time.

But she was there with John McEnroe. And they talked about relationships for the better part of 30 minutes. No music. Some of the best talk radio than I have ever heard.

Music:

Bloodless – My Bloody Valentine.

I don’t know how to describe this album or its quality other than the fact that I enjoyed this album as a whole from moment one. It’s an album that is a wall of sound. No breaks, just rock and roll that seemed to be clairvoyant of what electronica and house music would become. It doesn’t stop in it’s sound and volume, which is not exactly a compliment for most music. With metal, it’s assured; with electronica it’s expected; with Beyonce and Mariah, it’s about having 73 different vocal tracks courtesy of pro-tools.

But this, is sound that is purely and sometimes heavenly enveloping. Don’t look for songs though, the whole point is the mood of the album itself. It makes you have faith in the guitar as a musical instrument, not just a great piece of equipment for self-righteous 18 minute solos.

I can tell you this, if you are over 15, you will likely buy this album and know how you feel about it after 10 minutes. Some will hate it, others will love it immediately for the sound and then just come to cherish it.

The greatest problem with music today is a lack of patience. Rather than explain that, I’ll just assume that if you know what I mean, you assuredly hate most modern music. If you don’t then maybe, this album will be an eye opener.

Pretentious enough in intent, yet not didactic. Good for when you are depressed or when you are high. Great for background music when reading. And one day, when the rain does finally come to LA and I can go driving, it’s not even going to be a debate.