Super Sweet Sixteen

MTVs My Super Sweet 16 is my favorite new show (The OC is slipping)! It's the Usher of television shows, constantly outdoing itself as an exhibit of trashy bling... and completely gay.

The show begins with Hilary Duff, who must have blown the right Viacom exec, because it seems like she has a monopoly on MTV teen theme songs this year. Each episode then progresses through the planning of a stupid spoiled whore's debutante ball, complete with character buildup, anti-sympathy (awww! Poor lil persian girl's parentals won't buy her a Range Rover for her bday. Teardrop!), ungratefulness, and obligatory melodrama. In short, amazingly entertaining, and possibly more telling of the socioeconomic state of america than The Wallstreet Journal, or even The Daily Show. Sweet Sixteen is not unlike Teen Vogue (my favs periodical) in that it transports poor, impressionable, white trash tweens to a magical Cinderella world of Marc Jacobs, ice in their glass, center-of-the-universe attention, and Parisian cattiness, far far away from their rhinestone bejeweled denim jackets, ford festivas, trailer parks, and drunk daddies who put out cigarettes on their pasty midwest thighs.

The median family income in the US is approximately one tenth of what each of these parties cost, which makes the displayed lifestyle understandably appealing, as most girls they will probably never even own homes that cost as much as these one-night celebrations of a young lady's entry into society as a jaded heiress. The show is pornography for young girls who believe that the ultimate goal in life is exhibition of wealth, which kinda explains the appeal of Mz. Hilton... not the only Stupid Spoiled Slut in america, just the most popular.

Some fun things of note, (corresponding to above photos):

• Natalie, bitter because she's fat exclaims, "If I wasn't rich... ...it would suck."
  
• A lil Elvis impersonation from the man who dropped $450k for Nat yeilds, "My dad is trying to ruin my party and my life." Immediately following states, "It's really important that my Roswell friends see how rich I am so they can go home and tell everyone." Then her chubby flamo rube friend (pretty telling of what she was before she came into money) steps off the plane humming California and, when he sees her house, gushes, "OMG! This is seriously like something in The OC!" Way to represent the 505 douchebag.
  
• Crying because her parents won't buy her a Range. Following her trip to France to pick out a few gaudy dresses that make her gypsy stomach look even more unappealing than normal.
  
• Jacqueline is really really dumb, but that's forgivable as she is the only person featured on this show with any semblance of human decency. She actually seems nice, and is probably the most naturally attractive. Score.
  
• I'm a big fan of creeping on high school girls, but c'mon Pauly, shouldn't you be getting embarassed by a ten year old on a red carpet somewhere?
  
• Buy your way into the fat girl's party (and heart) with a slice of pizza.

The best part of My Super Sweet Sixteen are the interviews with guests who claim that they had no idea who the hosts were before the party. Don't listen to those assholes who say money can't buy you happiness! These parties win the girls a minute of fame in their tiny lil high school worlds, and as insignificant as that may seem to those of us on the outside, being a rockstar for one night in high school can make your entire year, so it's hard to hate. I HEART Super Sweet Sixteen, It makes me smile like i mean it...

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