I like that, yeah twerk that thang

But now two songs have come along that need to be adressed.
First off. There is the new song by Houton called "I like that."
This song is unbelieveably bad. I mean, the bassline is grating in a way that is reminicent of peices of glass being rubbed against eachother.
In in the written form, it is as follows: "badada DWWWWEEEEEEE - da, BUN da DA DWWWWEEEEE da." It's rotten. It is less of a bassline than it is a compliation of noises that eerily resemble an 8 bit videogame soundtrack. Except its much more grating.

Anyway, the list of cliches and bad rock tricks implimented used in this one is unreal. It features the following:
Phrases:

• Twerk that thang.
  
• Where the money at?
  
• Whoa-ho-hoa-oh

Hip hop standards:
Not only do we get houston, we get three other artists, it's the Featuring special!
Not only do we get four artists, we get 4 seperate takes on what they like, and where the money is at. What I hate most about hip hop is the monotony of the verses. Rarely is an entire song without flaws, and this is only compounded more. Simply, this is the most irritating case since trick daddy's Ok, whats up, shut up, where 4 different people incorporated the irritating phrase into their rap verse, on top of a three line description about who they are. So much dead time.

Chingy (a pox on music as is) and his Right thurrr speak.
And just when you think it can't get any more derivitave of everything bad about hip hop, in comes, I'm not shitting you: Nate Dogg on the chours.
15 years of bad music exemplified in one four minute jingle. I didn't think rap could get any worse than crunk. I bet biggie and Pac would be sickeded, as are Chuck D and Bill Cosby.

As bad is this is, and as terrible as the fact that it is going to be popular may be, it doesn't compare to the absolute train wreck and terrible song that is the new single by Alter Bridge.

For those of you who have ever listened to classic rock stations, where instead of being dominated by the truly classic rock like Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Beatles, Stones, Ramones and Clash, we get Boston, Kansas, and long winded ballads of everythign that killed rock off before punk could save it.
The standards of bad rock music were as follows.

Overly powerful singing in the chorus and opening stanza. See Dust in the Wind, which I would hate even more if not for being redeemed in Old School.

Topic songs: When an artist wants to branch out or make a special single we get something overly serious. Which mind you is best left up to great artists. So after getting a song about drinking or partying, we get a song child molestation (Janies got a gun, come on people lets wake up this song sucks) about or the wreck of the edmund fitzgerald.

So after Creed broke up, I was thanking god that something he inspired finally stopped making me want denounce all forms of faith. This was not the father of Jesus god, but the gods of rock, who creed blasphemed with Higher.

Anyway, take a look at the video for their new song, I can't remember the song, namely because I am crying from laughing after the guitar solo by the guy with the chinstrap beard. The look on his face, as he seems to think he is rocking out to the greatest song ever always makes me lose it.

The lead singer who pretty much sings "IF THEY OPEN THEIR EYES, AND REALIZE WE ARE ONNNNNNNEEEEE!" with the uptmost of seriousness, and this is pretty much all he sings, also is death. And by death, I mean killer comedy.

Anyway
End communication
David