Meli Melo

Méli Mélo

A few things.

• A shemale banging a chick is not gay.
  
• A chick doing you... with any object imaginable... still, technically speaking, not gay.
  
• And for god's sake, whatever you do in a skybox is sooo not gay (it's just good business!)
  
• When I say Jean, you say Michel!
  
• Yeah, I rock a blue fauxhawk with the pink polo, but guess what?! No dude has ever been south of my border! I wrote a hit play, so I'm not sweating it either!
  
• Even if your tummy hurts real bad, it's still called bulimia. You're only fooling yourself babe!
  
• If you don’t want it, can’t handle it, and wouldn’t get it in a gazillion years, then save us all some time and don't ask for it.
  
• If your answer to “How are you?” is “Still single,” followed by a sigh, then you need therapy or Dynasty. Wake up! This is the O.C. era - you need to ask yourself WWL.C.D? [answer: she'd be the best friend she knows how to be, then take it in the poop from Soapy Dick Stephen while Kristin was getting roofie raped (aka forget-me-fucked) on the bathroom floor of a cabo cantina.]
  
• You wanted to know the difference between stocky and fat? Does it shake or does it jiggle?
  
• I know some of you did not get the memo, but when wearing a muscle shirt, the muscle at the top of the shirt should be larger than the muscle at the bottom of the shirt. Thanks for your attention.

So now it's you're turn. I know you're reading, so say something... something fun, k?!