Someday love will find you, break those chains
1 video capsule and one look back at what may be the funniest thing in history.
Current video review:
The Arcade Fire: Rebellion (lies)
This band made the best album of last year. Hands down. Even with the bands immense talent, their fame could be pinned more on Pitchfork.com, (the best music site on the net) who gave the album a 9.7. It brought a notoriety in America to the band they sorely lacked and really deserved.
The video falls into the Radiohead “Knives Out” category, where there is a bunch of well meaning and thought put into the video, it just falls short as a whole.
1. The whole streaks of light attached to the drummer’s sticks. Where did this come from, and what does it mean.
2. The end is at a cemetery and it shows the group following the band (think Pied Piper) hiding under a giant sheet. It ties into the song and might be effective if it wasn’t comical to watch.
3. The whole old tyme video thing. Just a failed experiment from frame one. It’s impossible to tell who the people are, it puts you in an atmosphere that is never explained and the video does nothing with it.
The song is not one of the best on the album (it’s still rather good and somewhat catchy) but it’s a little lingering and it doesn’t have a very good structure. This to me, means not a single.
I see it (as a fan) as a decent view to the band, and lets you see the band is eschewing the formulas and isn’t concerned about style over substance.
People who don’t know the band will look and go: What the fuck is this?
Grade: C+
So now on to:
Separate Ways
Journey
It’s hard to describe Journey. They may be the worst band of all time that are actually enjoyable. Of the 70’s and 80’s supergroups, Styx was far less talented and took their music as serious as the pope takes Catholicism, leading to a stage production of a rock opera about robots. Kansas was more talented but were so overblown their songs read more like a didactic preaching than ballads. Bon Jovi was only liked by girls. Van Halen was only appreciated by men. Motley Crüe were great for biographies and for reality TV shows of the 2000’s, but not much else.
Journey had basic songwriting skills at best. They were decent musicians, and actually could play and learned how to perform. This has made good bands before (like Van Halen or Soundgarden). They also had a distinctive sound, which is what really helped them elevate to the top of the charts. There are few songs in their catalogue that you would be hard pressed to say don’t sound like Journey. That’s a good thing.
Steve Perry was one of the worst front men of all time. His voice is terrible monotone in temblor that any time he tries for range he sounds like a parody of all music of his period. It’s a weird paradox, he sounded terrible, and his lyrics were repetitive and stupid, but he could deliver them. Bad material, yet matched with a solid delivery that fit in with the band’s style.
You would never willingly choose this personality bereft man to lead your band if you were doing a rotisserie music group. He is startlingly unattractive, a reputed dick and loser in real life, and with a voice that is only remarkable in falsetto.
None of their songs should ever be put on a top 100 list. EVER. Not even Don’t stop believing.
I know this band is terrible, but I like them in spite of it all. They just have a sound that makes me feel like drinking and acting outside of myself.
The song is driven by a crunching guitar and drumline. It’s not a bad starting point. But add the falsetto and it gets worse, but still passable. Add the staccato singing of the chorus and repetition of lines for no reason (two, two, two; pain, pain, pain), which Perry takes to new heights. Counterbalance all of this with a terrible keyboard synth and you have separate ways. Everyone in the band is at 110% involvement in this song. Playing, singing, and stretching way too hard.
But back to the video:
1. 90% of the time anyone sings in the video, they start 90 degrees away from the camera, and then turn when singing.
2. The band mock plays their instruments for half the video. This includes the drummer and keyboardist. (read that last sentence again.)
3. Every shot of the band is at least 5 feet too close.
4. The woman seems to walk to the guitar line. (trust me, it’s eerie)
5. It’s shot on shipping yards. I mean, this is a video that takes place on a wharf. A wharf which restricts them to not playing their instruments half the time, including the drummer and keyboardist.
6. The final shot is not of the band, but of a girl laying in bed with headphones on, presumably listening to the song. Is it the same girl? I can’t actually tell with her being profile and the fact that all we really see of her in the video is her ass walking in step to the synth line. That and the fact it’s unlikely she could make it from the wharf to her bed so fast.
In the classic MTV’s 25 lame, this one made the top 15. While the ones above it were populated with crap we fell for like Rico Suave and Ice, Ice, Baby, (only two of the vids could match this one, Heartbeat by Don Johnson and Whatsupwitchu by Eddie Murphy and MJ clearly feeling the pain of the mid 80s), this is one of those videos that is SO lame that it’s hard to even fathom how transcendently crapful it is.
But I must tell you, I know I this review is lacking. The truth is that I am amiss in actually coming up with a coherent way of describing it to you. It’s not that it’s done horribly, it’s that it’s done in a way that the choices made are so bad that it ruins any artistry to the song or video.
Separate Ways is like the anti- Casablanca. In the classic film, it’s the little elements that make the simple story so memorable. It’s not the fact that Rick lets Ilsa go, it’s the road they had to take that creates the impact, and with the backstory of the film being that lines were given to actors without knowing the next line, the end result is one of perfect luck. Everything went right in making this memorable.
With Separate Ways, it’s like everything coalesced to create a video that is so awful it’s hysterical. The emotions are SO misplaced by Steve Perry that he comes off more like a overzealous preacher than a singer. It’s not that you don’t believe him, you are anticipating the moment to lambaste him. It’s not that the band mock playing doesn’t make sense at all, it’s that it ruins the whole point of music videos with musicians. It breaks a fourth wall in which we are actually supposed to believe that they are performing for the camera. It’s not that they simply denied to play, it’s that they thought that they could convince us that the effect is the same.
In any year, only a handful of videos are going to be tolerable. Even fewer of those will be of quality. The rest of the heap is a mass of crap. Some of the crap is watchable for reasons unrelated to the music (think anything you have ever thought naughty things about while watching {side note: don’t you wish your girl was hot like me}).
Like Simple Plan’s Untitled, this video does everything wrong to the point of absolute glory for those with a ironic sensibility. Which is about how I view Journey.
Grade: 0/100
Dave’s Entertainment value: 110/100
Current video review:
The Arcade Fire: Rebellion (lies)
This band made the best album of last year. Hands down. Even with the bands immense talent, their fame could be pinned more on Pitchfork.com, (the best music site on the net) who gave the album a 9.7. It brought a notoriety in America to the band they sorely lacked and really deserved.
The video falls into the Radiohead “Knives Out” category, where there is a bunch of well meaning and thought put into the video, it just falls short as a whole.
1. The whole streaks of light attached to the drummer’s sticks. Where did this come from, and what does it mean.
2. The end is at a cemetery and it shows the group following the band (think Pied Piper) hiding under a giant sheet. It ties into the song and might be effective if it wasn’t comical to watch.
3. The whole old tyme video thing. Just a failed experiment from frame one. It’s impossible to tell who the people are, it puts you in an atmosphere that is never explained and the video does nothing with it.
The song is not one of the best on the album (it’s still rather good and somewhat catchy) but it’s a little lingering and it doesn’t have a very good structure. This to me, means not a single.
I see it (as a fan) as a decent view to the band, and lets you see the band is eschewing the formulas and isn’t concerned about style over substance.
People who don’t know the band will look and go: What the fuck is this?
Grade: C+
So now on to:
Separate Ways
Journey
It’s hard to describe Journey. They may be the worst band of all time that are actually enjoyable. Of the 70’s and 80’s supergroups, Styx was far less talented and took their music as serious as the pope takes Catholicism, leading to a stage production of a rock opera about robots. Kansas was more talented but were so overblown their songs read more like a didactic preaching than ballads. Bon Jovi was only liked by girls. Van Halen was only appreciated by men. Motley Crüe were great for biographies and for reality TV shows of the 2000’s, but not much else.
Journey had basic songwriting skills at best. They were decent musicians, and actually could play and learned how to perform. This has made good bands before (like Van Halen or Soundgarden). They also had a distinctive sound, which is what really helped them elevate to the top of the charts. There are few songs in their catalogue that you would be hard pressed to say don’t sound like Journey. That’s a good thing.
Steve Perry was one of the worst front men of all time. His voice is terrible monotone in temblor that any time he tries for range he sounds like a parody of all music of his period. It’s a weird paradox, he sounded terrible, and his lyrics were repetitive and stupid, but he could deliver them. Bad material, yet matched with a solid delivery that fit in with the band’s style.
You would never willingly choose this personality bereft man to lead your band if you were doing a rotisserie music group. He is startlingly unattractive, a reputed dick and loser in real life, and with a voice that is only remarkable in falsetto.
None of their songs should ever be put on a top 100 list. EVER. Not even Don’t stop believing.
I know this band is terrible, but I like them in spite of it all. They just have a sound that makes me feel like drinking and acting outside of myself.
The song is driven by a crunching guitar and drumline. It’s not a bad starting point. But add the falsetto and it gets worse, but still passable. Add the staccato singing of the chorus and repetition of lines for no reason (two, two, two; pain, pain, pain), which Perry takes to new heights. Counterbalance all of this with a terrible keyboard synth and you have separate ways. Everyone in the band is at 110% involvement in this song. Playing, singing, and stretching way too hard.
But back to the video:
1. 90% of the time anyone sings in the video, they start 90 degrees away from the camera, and then turn when singing.
2. The band mock plays their instruments for half the video. This includes the drummer and keyboardist. (read that last sentence again.)
3. Every shot of the band is at least 5 feet too close.
4. The woman seems to walk to the guitar line. (trust me, it’s eerie)
5. It’s shot on shipping yards. I mean, this is a video that takes place on a wharf. A wharf which restricts them to not playing their instruments half the time, including the drummer and keyboardist.
6. The final shot is not of the band, but of a girl laying in bed with headphones on, presumably listening to the song. Is it the same girl? I can’t actually tell with her being profile and the fact that all we really see of her in the video is her ass walking in step to the synth line. That and the fact it’s unlikely she could make it from the wharf to her bed so fast.
In the classic MTV’s 25 lame, this one made the top 15. While the ones above it were populated with crap we fell for like Rico Suave and Ice, Ice, Baby, (only two of the vids could match this one, Heartbeat by Don Johnson and Whatsupwitchu by Eddie Murphy and MJ clearly feeling the pain of the mid 80s), this is one of those videos that is SO lame that it’s hard to even fathom how transcendently crapful it is.
But I must tell you, I know I this review is lacking. The truth is that I am amiss in actually coming up with a coherent way of describing it to you. It’s not that it’s done horribly, it’s that it’s done in a way that the choices made are so bad that it ruins any artistry to the song or video.
Separate Ways is like the anti- Casablanca. In the classic film, it’s the little elements that make the simple story so memorable. It’s not the fact that Rick lets Ilsa go, it’s the road they had to take that creates the impact, and with the backstory of the film being that lines were given to actors without knowing the next line, the end result is one of perfect luck. Everything went right in making this memorable.
With Separate Ways, it’s like everything coalesced to create a video that is so awful it’s hysterical. The emotions are SO misplaced by Steve Perry that he comes off more like a overzealous preacher than a singer. It’s not that you don’t believe him, you are anticipating the moment to lambaste him. It’s not that the band mock playing doesn’t make sense at all, it’s that it ruins the whole point of music videos with musicians. It breaks a fourth wall in which we are actually supposed to believe that they are performing for the camera. It’s not that they simply denied to play, it’s that they thought that they could convince us that the effect is the same.
In any year, only a handful of videos are going to be tolerable. Even fewer of those will be of quality. The rest of the heap is a mass of crap. Some of the crap is watchable for reasons unrelated to the music (think anything you have ever thought naughty things about while watching {side note: don’t you wish your girl was hot like me}).
Like Simple Plan’s Untitled, this video does everything wrong to the point of absolute glory for those with a ironic sensibility. Which is about how I view Journey.
Grade: 0/100
Dave’s Entertainment value: 110/100
posted by Indiana at
12:28 AM
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