Not caring that we don't care is the first step against eliminating crap. Or Something.

This is something of a mash of the response posted to a friend and fellow blogger's article on liking a movie most people hated. He is a wonderous critic, which means his insights are so good they wind up being intellectually crippling to the reader but his jokes are terrible. The link should show, but in the interest of sloth and blog spread, his site is

http://sickpeople.typepad.com


It is of course a false point, as too often, in protecting one's admiration of crap or maybe a new wave medium, (like Hip Hop) fans simply change the critera for which merits to prove in a simple wording of enjoying a film not for merits, but for what it is, and the ease that comes with watching a text as such. Instead of measuring the media on it's artistic values, they criticize the criteria of the others. Obstensively it's a callous and cowardly move that shfits the point of the finger instead of standing one's ground, asking not to hate the player but hate the game.

So what if Fabolous is simply rapping over an aritsts remix or Gwen Stefani is covering a Broadway tune and calling it her own. I mean, to anyone who knows anything about music wants to throttle the music assailant for their views. But are they incorrect? Not really except unless we judge them by a system of our own, and what others think. (Really the line between Religion and Literary theory is herion chic)

Beneath all of the subsuming the actual idea of whether or not our criteria is flawed, there is a simple marvelous sentiment that maybe there is a merit to simply make a choice on ones own instead of one's own politics.

It would not be hard for a memeber of either side of the politcal rainbow (I'm sorry spectrum is too cliched today, and it's about time for some color in politics {I'm sorry I'll stop the pseudo-inherent racism}) to cut and paste most of your arguments heart and rejigger it to backwater politics or reform it to anti-progressionist tactics.

Maybe there is a need for us to watch reality shows that is becoming iv'd into our lives by constant pressure. While the post does not suggest that we should not canonize those who do not make art for art's sake, it does however infer that maybe, we shouldn't hate oursleves for not taking the same approach in our viewing habits.

The problem is not the mode of discourse, for there is certainly no accounting for taste. However, perhaps the problem of protecting the problematic (sorry) is the mode of distribution. What we should really fault when disapproving of someones taste is not the simple choice of Kelly Clarkson our girlfriends have, but that we are being fed this so often and rampantly it is not the mode of critique that is to fault anymore, but the limited deliverance for discourse because of conglomerate might.

Democracy of the last decade or so has taught that might does not equal right but it does tend to signal ignorance on some level. While I am letting the auhor of the article that inspired this offshoot have a pass (and I certainly disagree, I hated Rules and all of it's ok in college sentiment) I am going to do something bold.

I am going to criticize both the system and those who live by it.

I am going to rue you for not biting the hand that feeds you tepid soda and rank meat.

I am

HATING THE PLAYER AND THE GAME!


No one should be chastised for liking Desperate Housewives more than Arrested Development or The Simpsons. (they are on the same night, and I need something of a control group) I mean, I can understand not watching two hours of consequtive TV on someone else's watch. I liked DeadWood when it came out, but there is no way I am going to watch another hour after the Sopranos, esp. when there are no bathroom breaks. I watched the first three episodes but gave up on talking about it on Mondays because I didn't want to watch it. I wound up watching most of the episodes and not really liking the rest (I mean, do I care about cowboys and the word cocksucker that much, I'd rather watch Once Upon a time in the west).

But really, I find it both ignorant and unforgivable to not watch Arrested Development (or any good show on TV because of time restraints (or bad shows, whatever, but thats another point)) (I'm sorry that's just because of a quote from Simpsons "Three Days of the Condo" where Homer moves out because of an old memory of Homer getting drunk:

Homer is on a gurney in the back of a red and white.

Medic: you have injested a dangerous amount of alcohol!

Homer: the only dangerous amount of alcohol is NONE! *escapes from the hold of the meds* Lets go to IHOP! *hops in drivers seat* I'll drive *pulled out forcibly* All Right, burger King, whatever!

Anyway. I know you people *read women and gay men* LOVE your desperate housewives and it's 6th grade sexual puns in R rated territory. (sorry to pass judgement, but the narrator is a dead woman with holier than thou properties giving out easy life sentiment).

It's not your fault for not watching Arrested Development episodes when they air.

It is a shame, and your liabity, however when you say you never got the chance to see it since you watch your show when the first season is on DVD and (AND!) we live in an age of not only tivo, but an internet which can let us d/l Jefferson episodes from 1979 and last week's Lost in under a work shift. I mean this is not the greatest age for art creation, but there has been no greater period in history for the consumer. You can get Rembrant and Sex Pistols without effort.
Entire works of Beethoven are at your fingertips if you have a computer. You don't have an excuse to not know great art unless you don't take in any media at all.

But there is a fantastic dicotomy at work here. As sprawling as the potential of the internet is, it is essentially a figment of thought. One can never tell the full reach of the internet and what it could be. Jesus and Allah could have a blogspot and humanity would never know. It's so fucking vast that the answers are probably out there but who could actually tell.

But one can acutally tell how much power the major corps have over every distribution stream from TV, Radio and parts of the Internet. With the RIAA eliminating the potential for music access at the rate of .5% a year, we may never really know if they are effective since for every one down, three pop up of lesser individual but equal collective power. But when you look at Yahoo, it's already being bought out. But I start with the battle of the internet control because the other two are wars so over they are history. Not only did the man win, he's brainwashed most of us to thinking he didn't.

I mean with movies, do did anyone ASK for Miss Congeniality 2?
Or really what part of music screamed for something so blandly threatning as Simple Plan.

Not to evoke a sentiment of big brother running the world, but everytime you buy a pop song, you are paying the way for the next shitty knock off. Buy buying American Idol, you are also paying for William Hung. Buying blink-182 leads to Simple Plan wich leads to Avril which leads to Ashlee Simpson, (who I think has a one and a million voice, but not for the life of me could I ever call her punk or a gifted songwriter).

When we bought Pearl Jam, we help to spawn soundalikes like Creed. It wasn't Jesus, God, or even the Holy Ghost who made Creed famous. It was us. (and no that doesn't mean god is in everyone of us).

Do you think we would have to debate Ashlee if we didn't have Jessica. Do you think we would have to suffer Jessica if we didn't watch her show. Do you think we would have watched her show if not for Access Hollywood or E! True Hollywood Story. Do you think she would have ever made it at all if not for Christina Aguilera, who only was riding the tails of our cultural icon of a cock teasing siren in Britney Spears. (to finish the not so subtle allusion, we hit the rocks long ago)

If there really is a vengeful God, his presence on our life may never be as sublty and sardonically prevalent as it is now. I mean, we are paying for our choices made out of lust and simplicity for some reason or another, why not put in on a holy force? Why is there bad art ruling the world now?

Because we let it.

Yet still there is great art being made. We can pretty much sidestep paintings in this argument, sculpture, and photography work because we don't love them until they are dead (bad as it is, the system is working). But with music and movies (whose vitality is so vital becuase of its immediacy and intamacy to the young listener) this is out fault for loving the familiar and eschewing the great. Sideways and Arcade Fire's Funeral proved that we can still create brillance that is both new and genius immediate. But we still keep going for the easy in our viewing procedure.

All I can say is that Rock and Roll and the Raging Bulls and Easy Rider's took down communism fears and communism itself and allowed us to have a sexual revolution.

We can get through hip hop repetitism and Rock and Roll stagnatism as well as corporate Hollywood.

The art is there, just go out of your way to get it.

Don't succumb and don't give up.

Otherwise, you deserve to be the lambastee.

Yeah, it's your fault, and while you don't have to agree with what I or anyone likes, you can know why.

Fall in line or get out there. You are human. You are born with choice.

(continued...)

Link

Burgertime!

I remember having a conversation about the food in LA with another fellow transplant and we both agreed, when it comes to fast/cheap food, no other city is even close. In Indiana we have two places I always go eat at when I go home, Penn Station and Stake and Shake.

The station makes some of the best sandwiches I have ever had. It’s essentially a better version of Quiznos (they actually cook the meat on a grille instead of boiling it, and does that bother ANYONE else? I mean, subway microwaves their meat and it seems gourmet in comparison) and they make the best Philly cheese steak I have ever had. None of this Pat and Geno’s crap with the big bread, they also use real cheese and good meat. Before they updated their menu, they had 4 sandwiches. And I ate there about 3 times a week. Not only was the food good, you smelled like it afterwards. Nothing bothered my senior pre-cal class more than when I ate there. I reeked of onions and Teriyaki.

Stake and Shake is the Denny’s that doesn’t creep you out. Open 24 hours, and they have dynamite cheese fries and milkshakes. Perhaps more interesting than anything was the phenomenon that everyone went there after a cheap hookup. You could walk in and see at least one couple that was looking at each other with “you are a terrible match for me, but I’m desperate for some action” eyes. They weren’t real relationships. They were not the kind worth writing literature, but they weren’t so terrible that they only went out once. Like Stake and Shake. It’s not a great sit down restaurant you’d find in Zagat’s but it’s not McD’s either.

Anyway, I just can’t put it strongly enough how much better the fast food is out here than anywhere I have gone.

Del Taco – Ten times better than Taco Bell

La Taquiza and other greasy spoon hole in the wall Spanish places – ten times better than Del Taco. La Taquiza is the best Mexican food I have ever had. And a meal’s under 10 bucks.

Pinks – they make hot dogs worth paying $4 for. Barely, but that’s still quite a feat.

WienerSchnitschel – Fast food hot dogs. They are not really great, but it’s like a spare tire in your car. It’s nice to know it’s there even though you don’t want it all the time.

Chano’s – Just the best-drunk 3 am food in the world, with the greatest Onion rings you will ever taste.

I could go on, but I am only serving to make me want to go out and get food. On to the main course, the best burgers in town. It would pain my father, but I have never had burgers this great before I moved to LA. They just have it down here. It’s so much better here you have to experience it.

The top five Burgers joints in LA.

5. Chano’s. A mostly Mexican food stand, but the Mixed up burger is worth singing about. Grilled pastrami on a worthy burger. Think the best burger from Wendy’s you have ever had and add Pastrami better than any Jewish Deli special sandiwch.


4. The Apple Pan – One of those places that feels out of the 40’s and 50’s. They fresh make their pies. They serve coffee in a cup and saucer. You have to wait to find a seat at all most anytime. And the burgers have a terrific zing to them. The hickory burger is the closest you will ever get to mashing BBQ sauce and a burger and not having it’s ruined by a overpowering sauce. I have spent the last little while trying to really explain that in words, the hickory flavor, but I'll settle with desribing this burger joint as great sex topped off with even better oral. And they look good too.


3. In and Out. Just can’t be explained. This is a fast food joint go it’s mindboggling. You’ll never want to go back to McD’s again. From the way the bread is toasted perfectly, to the cheese that drips perfectly over the corners of the meat, it’s one of the first places I take LA newbies. And the first place they want to go when they come back.

2. Fatburger. Sometimes, a name says it all

1. Tommy’s. Tommy’s is like Baseball. Sure ,the NFL and the NBA get more hype (like In and out and The Apple pan or Father’s Office), and have far more fans, who think they are in the best system. But to people who love baseball, they know that it is best and don’t even really try to convince you. They don’t need your opinion, and they know the game is going to last far longer than any of the others and that a championship in Baseball is far more memorable than anything else. There is a reason it’s called the fall classic and no one scoffs, yet everyone pokes fun of the Roman numerals of the Super Bowl. But to people who know burgers, Tommy’s is heads and shoulders above anyone else. It’s not just the chilli. It’s the pickle on the bottom and the mustard lightly sprinkled throughout. It’s the shack too. You don’t get to sit down unless you go to your car. You are GOING to need napkins. It’s an experience.

Why is it like Baseball? Tommy’s requires patience. It’s barely athletic. There is an art to it most people will never get.

But really, why is Tommy’s like baseball and unquestionably the best burger you will ever have?

Women hate it.

(continued...)

Soup Plantate Me

Soup Plantate Me

What is it about an emo chick with a streak of pink and lil snaggle-biters that just so goddamn adorable? The girl looking away is obscenely foxy, and engaged to a kickboxer...

These are real girls. They swear like sailors, drink like men, and fuck like catholics. They have no tolerance for demure coyness - they know they're in control and that's what we love about them.
Postscript - never do the all-you-can-eat thing with girls, you're just setting yourself up for failure.

(continued...)

Lost In Translatiion

Big Japan.
uber-hip los angeles band (you know this because they advertise on myspace), headed by the skin-banging estilo of... wait for it... adam brody. Seriously, he's a parody of what he used to parody - remember the Colin Hanks, The Valley episode of The OC? That he's remaking Revenge of The Nerds with McG was enough though. Every clear-thinking guy and gal I know [that used to love him] agrees that he TOTALLY fell off after Portland. Like Icarus, he just flew too close to the sun! But I won't hold it against you to create a myspace account just so you can send dirty messages to him about the thousand jewfro babies you want to have with him... if you do, add me.

Yes, there's more to me than The OC, Paris, and general cattiness - but why?!

(continued...)

Link

Tonight, you's are both just gonna have to settle for rock and roll

For me, perhaps there is nothing in this world today that makes me crumble emotionally to a state of joy and awe where I become irrational and emotionally gooey than Springsteen.

In a larger sense it is because of the fact that no single artist, author, historian or politician has been able to illustrate so well what America is. Bruce is the combination of every major text before him about the American rebelliousness and the desperation of small town life, and it is done so without a trace of satirization or sentimentalily. He represents at the core what America truly represents, a struggle for ones ultimate goal and the freedom to do it your way.

He is able to work in both the same vein as Arthur Miller in pinpointing the struggles of the average man straddled with a glass ceiling like in Death Of A Salesman (Nebraska), as well as the narrative ability to question the faults and bad decisions of the country we love a la "the Crucible." (Born in the USA and 39 shots) He knows we are in the best system, and that too often the people are the problem, not the procenium in which they further their plans.


Born in the USA is not a patriotic song like Paul McCartney's "Freedom" (jesus how the mighty have fallen), Cohen's "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy," or Ashcroft's "Let the Eagle Soar." It's not even Berlin's "God Bless America." (Sorry to add a fourth but that third one was clearly a joke)

It's a protest song. It's about seeing things go to shit and the clarivoyance to know why. It's about commiting the same sins as one's father, about losing love, and it's about failing in life. But in truth, it's more patriotic and pro-America because it is one of those examples of keeping faith, and not about religion, but one that we come form a country where hope never dies, and redemption, whether beneath the hood of an old car or in the face of ultimate tragedy, is always possible.

Even his love songs, pained with loss and regret still hold a sense of hope reminiscent of the "it is better to have loved and lost..." kind of heartbreak. Perhaps there is no better American quality as the one that is built into our government system that allows us to learn from our mistakes and make things better.

But to the point of this post. I simply wanted to put up a link to one of my favorite speeches of all time, brought about because the man the speech is about is going to return the favor come this March.

I don't think it will be as good, because perhaps Springsteens greatest quality is not to say the perfect thing, but to elicit it from others. What's more American than that?
Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction

(continued...)

I've had it, and I'm gonna come out and say it.

I don't support our troops. Fuck it. I'm sorry. I am tired of seeing these stupid ribbons on the back of peoples cars.

One of the reasons is that people are tilting the ribbon so the little bit that reads "support our troops" in cursive, you know, that sweet, soft writing that is reminiscent of amothers voice to a four year old before they go to bed with that "everything is going to be all right" tembor, can be read without someone tilting their neck.

These ribbons are supposed to be hung up so the message is crooked. This is supposed to be a sticker form of tying a ribbon around a tree for a soldier in your family who you want to come home safe. Not only am I opposed to the idea of using a peaceful symbol of loving hope as a note of showing support for them instead of a hope for them to come home, but...

WHEN TURNED TO THE SIDE IT MEANT THAT THE SOLDIER IN YOUR FAMILY DIED.

I know you want me to be able to read your symbol of commerce when I am behind you on the 405, telling me you support those men across the world fighting for (as Busch words it) Freedum. Instead you are saying: someone I care about is dead.

You want to help our cause:

Do one of three things to start.

1. Enlist.
2. Open your mind up and star listening to outside sources that are telling us that the US is not flawless. I am not saying that we are at fault here. But there really is a reason that these people don't like us, and it's not necessasarily out of blind ignorance or hatred. The US has made some mistakes. Just know that. We may be doing the right thing a lot of the time, and may be trying to help, but everyone makes mistakes.
3. Stop driving your hummer/ gaudishly large car. (Only certain cases apply)

You know why?

THERE WASN'T A DRAFT. THESE PEOPLE WILLINGFULLY SHOWED UP. (or most of them)

I'd wager at least half showed up to "kill them bastards for 9/11."

I have met one solider of this generation I have liked, and that was becuase he despised the fact that he had to kill and said he regretted everyday he was over there .

While I certainly respect the rest for the fact that they are willing to put their life on the line, (which doesn't mean I support them), of the other 10 or so ex-soldiers I have met, most of them were tremendous assholes. This national mentality of love our troops has given these kids my age appreciation Jonas Salk didn't deserve.

Could you ever concieve praising someone for going out and killing someone (with a level of duty and sense of righteousness, no less) of a different creed simply because a leader tells us we need to? While I don't think they are on the level of KKK members, hanging blacks and gays, there still is a level of tremendous ignorance on the part of those involved in this war (going all the way to the top, I might add) as if this is the only way, to kill.

Personally I see most of the middle east as an 11th cenutry culture with 21st century weapons. But I think that education, not force is the way to go.

Did we need to disable the Taliban?

My answer, probably. Their main goal of the gov't was to get rid of those not like them and to do so with tremendously agressive force.

Did we have to go after Iraq?

My answer, back to the wall, is yeah, it's nice to have Saddam out of power, and I'll be glad if democracy and open thought is allowed to flourish in the Middle East. However, after the elections where the people elected a near theocrat of terrible democratic potential, I mean, thats a failure. What have we done but replace a threat with a human rights destroyer. And at the cost of thousands of lives.

But ulitmately No. Saddam could have done nothing worse with the capabilities he had than we have done.

But all of the last bit is my opinion, take it as you will.

I will say this and I want you to hear it.

Those ribbons are propaganda. They are instruments of commerce (read: corporate greed) that divert the issue. We are not fighting a good war. We have not found an Auschwitz, nor or we stopping a regime whose main intent was to kill every minority different from the ideal race. We are lodged in a crusade of faith, and we keep kneeling down to a leader who believes in divine right. I want to believe that America, the land where anyone can make their way, where ideas are a currency, where concentrated introspection will always be our greatest assest and strength, is going to do the right thing so that the people of the world, including our own, never have to die at the hands of hate.

I hate that people are getting behind executioners for the state during their actions and then praising them upon homecoming. Not only are the soldiers doing the task given from up above, most are enjoying it and not questioning why. And we are LOVING them for it.

This war is a gambit, one that may, despite all of my rages and outburst may make the world a better place. But it's still an unknown fight. We didn't find the WMD's that supposedly made the war viable. We didn't save millions of people. And we didn't bring peace and harmony to anyone.
Yet. This may be a worthy cause, even though it ultimately looks like it won't be. This could not be called a victory until years down the line.

These soldiers are taking the same gamble that Busch did when he started this war. They wanted to be there. AWOL is an option. So is the peace corps. And so on. And so on. Much like with the course of actions post 2001, there are other avenues to venture.

This was a choice, and they are the ones acting on it. Tell a soldier you respect them. Tell them you would like to know them as a person. Tell them that you would like to see them live a full and happy life and you wish nothing bad will happen to them. Tell them you admire their choice.

But don't support them.

(continued...)

best of 2004

Now I get to move into the meat of what I do best, needless lists.

First allow me two introductions.

Lists are one of the things in life I thoroughly enjoy and am good at. If this was basketball (which I love and adore with all of my heart) I could dunk. I am not going to go so far as saying that I am on the level of LeBron or KG, but I would be in the NBA. Really, I am the Steve Kerr of lists. A guy who is never going to lead a team on his own, but he will be there to just come in and leave his mark on the games that matter most. (Remember the 2003 Spurs Mavs series where Kerr, 15 days before he retired came in and hit like 4 3's in a 2 minute span. ) Thats me. Not because I don't think I am better at most listers than most, but simply because I love the art of it. Kerr probably knows he is blessed because he was good at something he loved and got to to it for a living. I mean, LeBron loves to ball, I am sure, but I bet you he'd rather make that kind of money other ways.

That and I'm white. Just like Steve Kerr!

Second, this list is a year end litany of everything I thought worthwhile from 2004. I gave up making best of lists for years in both Music and movies in 2000. 2000 had 3 albums (Kid A, Stankonia and Doves's Lost Souls) I still listen to now and has like 2 movies (Wonder Boys and high Fidelity)

I gave up and just started making a list of everything great that happened that year. with the two best things of 2001 being Band Of Brothers and The World Series.

And now, onto the list for 2004.

Noticable abscences

Million Dollar Baby: Great film. Really great. But in the pattern of Mystic River, this is a film (and better than MR, I may add) that takes a simple story and does it with such great storytelling and presence to a fault where you don't forget it, but you won't remember it for as long as some of the others. The controversy over this one is one that will fade with time, and what we will be left with is a very good film with nothing really remaining for the ages. I mean, this is a great film, but are you going to watch it in 5 years, or ten. This isn't a character study like Raging Bull, or a feel good story like Rocky.

Napoleon Dynamite: I don't think that I didn't get this. But maybe I did. But I don't think so. This is NOT a good movie. The fact that everyone says they enjoy it more and more on subsequent viewings means to me that they are liking enjoying the cult of the movie, which is becoming very big. I get why some of this if funny, the actor who did Nap is very good, but it's an empty role. in the end, I view this as an attack on nerds, done with such precision it seems like a jock attack on nerds like Farenheit 9/11 was on Bush. I mean, these characters are not sympathetic, not likable, and most of all, NOT REALISTIC. I grew up with some of the worst nerds and dorks you would ever see, but none of them were ever this bad. They wanted affection, they wanted to be part of it all, and they would subject themselves to beatings for acknowledgement. They never asked (as funny as it kind of was) for tots. Oy. This movie makes me hate the viewing culture. Why didn't you like Rushmore this much, which at least had struggle and point. Or Harold And Maude, which had a resolution of sorts, and at least offered a glimspe into the world of outcasts. Or even Risky Business. Nerds got lucky in that one. AHHHHH, I'm sorry. No more.

Just off the list:

Green Day: American Idiot. Brilliant, but it; still lacking. I love the long songs and their structure, but it's the chord builds in the shorter songs that don't do it for me. I mean, I have heard Boulevard before, as with American Idiot. Love Jesus of Suburbia, Homecoming, and Wake me when sept ends.

The Grey Album: An Amazing concoction, but I still feel that both sources aren't at their best. Well, maybe it's just J, who seems to be limited by his production before the mash. God, please, help us have only one producer per rapper on an album. See how much better Snoop is with Dre or Pharell vs. anyone else. I hate hearing great beats laid on one track compared to a kayne work.

Loretta Lynn and Jack White, Van Lear Rose. Seriously, in terms of singles, this could top the list on only Portland, Oregon. Come on rockers, go back to blues! That's all zep did for 2 albums to start out with. Drinking, sleeping around and messing up, that's ROCK AND ROLL. Why is a septuagenarian woman out rocking 99% of the music today.

Handsome Boy Modeling School. White People. This is one of the few items on the list I doubt few people know about. Just go out and find a copy. You'll thoroughly enjoy it.

10. Secret Machines: Now Here is Nowhere. I keep thinking that rock is going the way of the Dodo. It's too old, and no one wants to believe in it anymore. The immediacy of hip hop beats in the singles is seemingly going to destroy the patience of old rock, where the build is essential and the reason why we raise our flames at concerts. This is a rock album that pulsates in it's singles, simmers in its' jams and wait for it's moment to climax in grand fashion. This is what Interpol should do for an album, just keep it going. Don't linger in the suffering unless there is a big bang at the end. Do the suffering, but don't wallow in it, bury it in sound. Thank god mainstream prog rock hasn't been limited to Radiohead.

9. Lost. It's not real. These people are not really on an island. It's something else, something of a great reveal yet to come. This is a great example of a world where everything is familiar but nothing is as real as it seems. Drawing from countless texts before it, Lost still seems fresh. This is what postmodernism should be, a reference from other texts that we all know, but a spin that none of us could fathom. Lets hope it doesn't go downhill. But these first 15 eps have been, if nothing less, an experience.

8. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It's not a love story. This is an examination of how we fall in love, and it's done in such a compelling way that it's both fascinating and heartbreaking in the process. It's not about falling in love, it's about being in love, one of the first films to ever illustrate so well.

7. Before Sunset. You don't have to see the prequel, per se, but it helps. But this is a film about lost loves, and facing up to them years later. Is it all as you remembered it as. Were they worth hanging all one's definition of love upon. And moreso, would it still be the same.

Would it still be the same?

Isn't it worth finding out? That's this movie, and the entire film is summed up in the ending line "Baby, I know" The audience isn't told, but we can only look to out life to our answer. I say yes. I know others who say no.

6. Arrested Development. Just go out and buy the DVD. It's a show that is so subtle that you laugh at jokes after the episode, and later than when they happened. I mean days later. It's not that you don't get the joke at the time, it's that the show is so layered, sometimes they wait four episodes for a punchline, or even longer. (For instance, Gob's way of making the chicken noise is a great example of why this show is a slow burn) Just see it before it goes bye bye.

5. The Fiery Furnaces - Blueberry Boat. This is one of the most difficult albums I have ever heard. It's so rapidly changing and ever permeating that it's hard to get until a mass of listens. And that's part of the joy. It's surprising, it's funny, it's heartwarming, and it's always changing. It may be overdone for the casual listener, but at the same time, it's the only way for a person sick of the formula of modern rock ( I mean, was anyone surprised when Hoobastank said the reason... was... you! I didn't think so.) If this album was a real life event, it would be a fashion show of the best themes of the last 30 years. They come out, wow you, make a statement, and then are replaced with another of the same vein.

4. Sideways - I think it's a little long. And it meanders a bit. For me, comedies should not be beyond 105 mins. That said, few films I have ever seen kept me laughing about scenes I had fogot, like Paul G. running out of a house in the sunrise, or T. Church getting beat up, like this one. It's also a great drama about dealing with tough breakups and growing from them even when you don't want to. I keep thinking about this movie not because of any great storylines, jokes, scenes, or other typical movie simplicity, but because of how it's told, with a brutal, human honesty that is hard to watch but easy to relate to.

3. The Red Sox coming back from 0-3 to then go on and win the world series. Good things will happen to those people who keep believing. Anything is possible. There is good in this world, and it's worth fighting for. I now work with people how like Sox and grew up with them. And most of the time, they taint the memory for me, as I was simply a guy who loved the team for being losers who always got close but never won. I didn't choose them because they were part of my area, but because like me (and my other team, the cubs) they always seemed to lose in the worst ways. I liked knowing that there was an entity that represented the suffering of life. The fact that they came back from near death. I mean, before game 4 they were 94.4% dead., In the bottom of the ninth of game 4, before they came back, they were 99% gone. And then, they did it. Writing those last words just makes me happy. All of those people who love sports and hope for good to overcome will have that moment, when simply, the impossible happened.

2. The Arcade Fire - Funeral. This is essentially the structure of E.T., It's a Wonderful Life, and a little bit of the last act of A New Hope put into music. It is a series of songs that continues to beat you into the ground with the sadness of real life. They are filled with hard truths about living in this era, some lyrics:

Love is made to forget it

My Family Tree is losing all it's leaves

You pray for rain, I pray for blindness

It's so dark its devastating, and the music compliments it. And you remember it. But what you don't expect, and what you don't forget is how it takes you out of the sadness. The album takes you down, and then musically, it just lifts you to happiness. It's E.T. coming back from the dead, it's George Bailey saying merry Christmas, it's Han Solo saving the day, just when you think it's lost, the great thing happens and it makes the movie, album, your day. It's item #3 in musical form. Go out and d'l crown of love, or better yet, just go buy the album.

1. The Incredibles. I will not waste words. I am not going to tell you why I think this is amazing. This is the best film since Saving Private Ryan. It's a masterpiece, and the only film of the last 6 years that will both astound and charm you in the same moment, boundaries of genre be damned.

David

(continued...)

Super Sweet Sixteen

MTVs My Super Sweet 16 is my favorite new show (The OC is slipping)! It's the Usher of television shows, constantly outdoing itself as an exhibit of trashy bling... and completely gay.

The show begins with Hilary Duff, who must have blown the right Viacom exec, because it seems like she has a monopoly on MTV teen theme songs this year. Each episode then progresses through the planning of a stupid spoiled whore's debutante ball, complete with character buildup, anti-sympathy (awww! Poor lil persian girl's parentals won't buy her a Range Rover for her bday. Teardrop!), ungratefulness, and obligatory melodrama. In short, amazingly entertaining, and possibly more telling of the socioeconomic state of america than The Wallstreet Journal, or even The Daily Show. Sweet Sixteen is not unlike Teen Vogue (my favs periodical) in that it transports poor, impressionable, white trash tweens to a magical Cinderella world of Marc Jacobs, ice in their glass, center-of-the-universe attention, and Parisian cattiness, far far away from their rhinestone bejeweled denim jackets, ford festivas, trailer parks, and drunk daddies who put out cigarettes on their pasty midwest thighs.

The median family income in the US is approximately one tenth of what each of these parties cost, which makes the displayed lifestyle understandably appealing, as most girls they will probably never even own homes that cost as much as these one-night celebrations of a young lady's entry into society as a jaded heiress. The show is pornography for young girls who believe that the ultimate goal in life is exhibition of wealth, which kinda explains the appeal of Mz. Hilton... not the only Stupid Spoiled Slut in america, just the most popular.

Some fun things of note, (corresponding to above photos):

• Natalie, bitter because she's fat exclaims, "If I wasn't rich... ...it would suck."
  
• A lil Elvis impersonation from the man who dropped $450k for Nat yeilds, "My dad is trying to ruin my party and my life." Immediately following states, "It's really important that my Roswell friends see how rich I am so they can go home and tell everyone." Then her chubby flamo rube friend (pretty telling of what she was before she came into money) steps off the plane humming California and, when he sees her house, gushes, "OMG! This is seriously like something in The OC!" Way to represent the 505 douchebag.
  
• Crying because her parents won't buy her a Range. Following her trip to France to pick out a few gaudy dresses that make her gypsy stomach look even more unappealing than normal.
  
• Jacqueline is really really dumb, but that's forgivable as she is the only person featured on this show with any semblance of human decency. She actually seems nice, and is probably the most naturally attractive. Score.
  
• I'm a big fan of creeping on high school girls, but c'mon Pauly, shouldn't you be getting embarassed by a ten year old on a red carpet somewhere?
  
• Buy your way into the fat girl's party (and heart) with a slice of pizza.

The best part of My Super Sweet Sixteen are the interviews with guests who claim that they had no idea who the hosts were before the party. Don't listen to those assholes who say money can't buy you happiness! These parties win the girls a minute of fame in their tiny lil high school worlds, and as insignificant as that may seem to those of us on the outside, being a rockstar for one night in high school can make your entire year, so it's hard to hate. I HEART Super Sweet Sixteen, It makes me smile like i mean it...

(continued...)

Link

Honey Buns

Chinatown

Because photos of Chinatown are cooler than you...

(continued...)

Love is not a transitive verb

The name I Never Loved You is actually a compromise - mostly we settled upon it because DuckSoup was taken. But I cannot imagine any sentiment more fitting for two young, very different individuals with more than a few Caulfieldesque tendencies.

These four words form a pathetic, desperate sentiment - a defensive statement that we use to hopefully salvage any bit of our pride that remains at the feet of whoever it is that we wish we never loved. But they also hide a glimmer of hope, an assurance that there is something better out there, something new to be loved.

In Glory Daze, Jack says something to the effect of, "You don't throw yourself into love and friendships like you did before you were hurt... and that's a damn shame." We're not bulletproof, but rather share a healthy blend of stubbornness and naivety that lets us believe there is something amazing waiting for us. Our collars are popped.

If we're wrong? Fuck it dude, let's go bowling.

(continued...)

Jesus loves the little children

Somewhere it begins. Between nicotine, booze, ilicit narcotics that don't leave you wishing for ice cream and a desire to ramble on about Chompsky and Che. Where we ask with implicit intent "come on people, why are you watching Desparate Housewives instead of Arrested Development." Or "BEST WEEK EVER. BEST WEEK EVER. ARE YOU KIDDING. DO YOU WANT TO WATCH 30 MINS OF B RATE COMEDIANS TELL THE SAME JOKE THREE TIMES.

I'm sorry. I'll walk away.

BEST WEEK EVER. YOU BASTARD."

*being dragged away*

Between discussions of what the vision Queequeg has before the final encounter with Moby means about western life vs. eastern mysticism and if Bush (to be here listed as Busch and to be pronounced as Boo-sch) actually let 9/11 happen to further his neo con agenda.

We will list posts of lists about everything rankable to the cultural wait for shattenfroiden (sic?) of Paris (the heiress, and with out any trace of romance associated with the city of her namesake).

Lets face it.

We are now at the end of it all. Lets watch it burn and then piss on the ashes.

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