My favorite moment of TV ever.

Back in High School, just like every other teenager, me and my friends were obsessed with The Price is Right.

During our Senior year, those with 4^th and 5^th period free would leave campus to go to my friends cabin and watch the show (and get stoned, drunk, or just sit around, it was all the same).

Come Spring Break 99. We’re in Bermuda. It’s Spring, which means it’s actually not that temperate.

The pros are:

The booze in included in the price of our vacation.

We have girls with us, from high school.

One of my boys lost his v card in the hot tub.

Food, just like booze, is included.

There is no trade embargo, which means Cuban Cigars are available for purchase.

The Cons:

High Schoolers have access to free booze

We’re there with girls from High School, and only two of us hooked up.

This is a resort for Middle Age Crises peoples. Not Wild and Crazy Guys.

The security force was on us ever since we had “a sex on the beach round” of drinking games.

On the third morning, we were all terribly hung over. I was in the period of my life where I puked every other time I drank, and the night before was no different because I drank nothing but Irish Coffee’s to end the night. When we got back to the room, I was as drunk as a skunk and more awake than the girl in accounts receivable after 2 red bulls. I tried drinking NyQuil to get to sleep.

BAD IDEA.

So there we were. It was too cold to do anything but stay inside and watch TV.

And it was a magical day of TV. All the guys had adjoining rooms in the hotel. I got a call from Brad who was in the room next to mine. “GO TO TBS, there is this ridiculous movie about Skateboarding from the 80’s...”

Me: “Skitchin!!! We’re watching it now. The Red Hot Chili Peppers are performing at a skate/dance party!”

That movie alone is worth 10,000 words.

When The Price is Right came on, we all got into one room.

What happened next I have tried to explain close to 50 times. It simply had to be seen to believed.

The two showcase finalists were a tiny Chinese woman no taller than 4’9’’, and a Firefighter I deemed “Intensor.”

The latter was something of a TPIR lame-o, he lost his pricing game without coming close, and only made the finals by sure might. When Intensor spun the wheel in the first showcase showdown, he walked over, and without bending his legs, spun the wheel round no less than 11 times.

The Chinese woman was something else though. When she got up on stage, she was still befuddled she won. She made a guess of like $800. The person after her guessed 1500, the person after them guesses 1501, and then the last guy in the group wagered a dollar.

She won, and she couldn’t really tell the difference.

When Bob Barker revealed her possible prize it was, I swear on my mother’s grave, “A TRIP TO CHINA!!!”

Immediately Brad yelled, “You’ll be staying at… Your house!!!”

We were on the floor laughing.

So flash forward to the Showdown.

Intensor gets the typical “girly” showcase, filled with dining room sets, a china collection, and a bed. He takes it.

We’re once again on the floor.

The Chinese woman is about to get her showcase, and she’s still a deer in the headlights.

The showcase opens.

Rod Roddy announces:

First off we have, three die cast miniature cars. (all of us in the room are at a loss for words).

Next we have: Three keychains from some chain store.

WHICH YOU ARE GOING TO NEED FOR:

THREE NEW GEO METROS!!!

She won. And her family walked over to her haul. Three new cars which fit three people and a trip to China. Really, any words would be a mess of incomprehension.

(continued...)