Because I am a nice person

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You can thank me later.

(continued...)

Hate New York City, Let's leave Chicago to the Eskimos.

Let’s start off with food stuff. It’s easy.

One of the reasons I love LA is because it’s the sushi capitol of the world. And while that’s an easily debatable point coming from me on this blog, these aren’t my words. Most cuisine mags have conceded this. Between the harbor and the marketplace which accepts all kinds of sushi lovers with insatiable palettes that are tied into the very nature of eating sushi, LA has become the forum and this is the time. There may be Sushi joints in the world better than those in LA, but there isn’t a better city on a whole.

My two cents on this comes as such. The best Sushi I have ever had was at the old Sushi Sasbune on Sawtelle in the Western Little Tokyo district (it has since moved to a huge room on Wilshire, in Brentwood, yeck). The restaurant is Omaske style, meaning it’s a fixed menu and only at the end of the course do you order. The motto of the place is “trust me.” Except it’s more of an edict than a suggestion. People have been kicked out for ordering California Rolls. No tempura. No Anglofication of the menu for delicate tastes. This is gourmet from moment one. The AmberJack I had there was so fresh and so delicate I barely had to chew. It’s also one of the few restaurants that isn’t open on the weekends. Why? Because the harbor isn’t open on weekends. They only serve fish on the day they get it.

I have eaten at most of the top Sushi places in LA. Sasabune is the best. And by far. It’s the minimal care about everything except for the food, which is just perfect.

But the cost is usually around $90 with tip. Per person. So it’s cost prohibitive.

Which is why my favorite haunt is Sushi Ya in Culver City (on Sepulveda between Washington and Venice).

It’s got one of the more complete menus in the city for a decent price. Their seared Tuna and Albacore are everything they should be. Their chefs are warm, friendly, and best of all, know their regulars.

But my favorite part? They play Miles Davis. It’s a restaurant that could hold maybe 30 people, it consists of two bars, four tables, and a register. So aside from the quaint setting, when the lead chef Katsu gets into his Omaske menu, and he hit’s with the Uni with the Quail Egg, the rhapsody takes over and the psychotropic buzz of Urchin and Sake mixes (I swear it’s real) and I look around, realize this is a place of regulars who have been coming here for years, and hear Miles and Birth of the Cool. I feel like everything in the world…

++++

And on to the Youtube goodness.

First off:



We here at the Honeycomb Hideout love the Mastodon . Any band that can make a concept album out of Moby Dick and open it with the words “I feel like some one is trying to kill me” gets automatic status. To make the Metal album of the decade in the process makes it all the sweeter.

This video is off the new album Blood Mountain, which I am currently listening to instead of my other purchase of the day, the long awaited “Lupe Fiasco’s Food and Liquor” which after one listen, is everything and more than I hoped. I can’t say enough… until I have listened to it more, then maybe I’ll canonize it or throw chinks in the armor of a dream hip hop album.

But the Wolf is Loose is the first track off the album. And it, like all metal that is very good - great can be classified as “Kick Ass.”

With about the same decent but hesitant confidence I have that the Democrats are going to win the midterm elections this year, I feel the same way that by the end of 2007, Metal will be back in full force. The emo kids are going to get laid, the wiggers are going to go to college, and eventually, the shift is going to go to metal. It’s raw, it’s ass kicking, and it’s immediate.

I say this not out of hope, because Mastodon and The Haunted are the only two metal bands I like these days, while more core bands like Burnt by the Sun are a little too much for me. I tie the midterms into the music scene for only one reason, it’s not even a question of beliefs or taste, but I think the mass are sick of the overload. And sometimes the check decision is to go in a completely different direction. From Pop and hip hop or W Politics, both have their moments, but were a product of the time, there was a comfort level, but we have a reached a level of over saturation and it’s time for something new.

Why am I guessing metal?

Metal Skool has a lot to do with this. I don’t know of anyone in this city that hasn’t heard of the Monday show.

Of all of the tracks on the radio, the one I got the most “Hey have you heard this track, it’s different I kind of like it” conversation openings about was about Avenged Sevenfold and their single “Bat Country.” My opinion on this is tainted. The video creeped the shit out of me, and I first heard the song on Madden 06. With those two factors, I have to remove myself from the conversation. They suck. Maybe. They don’t suck. Equally likely. But this was something different, and it was a song that tapped a vein in people.

If this generation has one common trait about anything, it’s anger. Yeah, I’m stereotyping here, but while the boomers acted defiant, when people my age talk about most things, there is some level of anger about how things go. Maybe it’s the polarized culture due to the Partisan Politics, or argument shows like PTI or Crossfire which reduce news items to arguments.

And I’m not going to lie, PTI is one of my favorite shows, simply because when it comes to sports, arguments work because there are numbers to back it up… and then it’s opinion. This could only work in politics if it was a history show. Which, I am not going to lie, I would watch:

Hannity: Chamberlain was the worst leader ever. He gave everything to the Nazi’s.

Jerry Seinfeld: Chamberlain was the high school dork of WWII. You put his head in the toilet and he’d give you half of Europe.

Stewart: As bad as he was, Chamberlain still wasn’t as bad as Stalin. 50 million of his own people killed! Even if you include the Holocaust Hitler didn’t even cause that many deaths. And at least Chamberlain’s failure led to Churchill’s second election. That was what won the war in the European Theater on the Eastern Front. Forget D-Day and the Yanks, the Brit resolve was what turned the Italians, and then help for the end of the North African control and the shrinking of the Reich’s borders.

Hannity: That’s a Liberal for you, always taking the cautious side. If I was in Neville’s place I would have nuked them.

George Costanza: I once ran from a fire at a kids party, but even I know that the bomb wasn’t an option until the Manhattan Project worked White Sands in 1943. Or was it 44.

Ann Coulter: If W was president, he would have killed them. If Reagan was there, he would have simply marched to the Eagles Nest and told Mr. Hitler to tear the camps down. God Bless Ron Reagan.

Apu: I don’t know which part of that sentence to correct first.

Dick Cavett: Well, we’re going to have to take a break, and maybe, agree to disagree. Any thoughts Dave.

David Letterman (played by Norm MacDonald): ehhh, you got any gum? WOOOOOO. Arliss!

Paul Schaffer: ha. Arliss.

Karnak The Magnificent: *holds envelope to head* The Holy Grail, Enron, and Al Gore’s Favorite shade.

*blows into envelope*

A dream, a scheme, and the color green.

Sorry to digress. But I’d bet somewhere around 4-1 the music scene shifts to metal.

Other music notes:

Loving the Guillemots album Through the Window Pane. Gotta thank Jimmy @ www.greenpeaness.org for that.

But for all that albums brilliance, I am loving Razorlight and their self titled second album all the more. It’s really the best album Squeeze never made. For all of the talk about groups emulating certain periods, I am going to put this out there: why care about time and place? If an album by the Strokes is good, why take it down by comparing it to a Television rip off. If you like the Artic Monkeys, don’t include artists like the Replacements as comparisons to where they got it from, just say it sounds like it. More can be made if every music guy, like myself, but I’m not, wasn’t trying to degrade their enjoyment by unfair classification.

I love the Strokes. Who cares about anything they were influenced by.

I love the Drive By Truckers. So what if they did an entire album about Lynyrd Skynyrd. They know what they like, and they arethe best band in the world

So what if Razorlight makes an album that sounds like it could be released alongside the Mats. It’s a good to great album. Leave history to judge. The era of irony may have passed, but the era of unsure sniping is in full swing.

++++

Yet I’ll close on a good note.

Monday night produced one of the greatest games baseball has ever seen.

The scene:

Bottom of the 9th. Dodgers down 9-5.

And then this.



Four homers. Back to back to back to back. That’s the… ahh forget it. As much as I love hyperbole, this doesn’t need anything else.

Which is why I am posting this as well.



Let it load and go to the 6:10 mark. When Vince Scully resumes his broadcast with an instantly legendary “I forgot to tell you… The Dodgers are in first place.”

I flirted with switching from the Cubs to the Dodgers when I spent my first full year out here in 2002. They were in a pennant race, they had a hated and hatable rival in the Giants and the awful Barry Bonds. But I didn’t like any of the players. I didn’t’ grow up with any of them. But the Dodgers had Vin Scully.

That was almost enough. And had I heard a postseason, I may have switched. Only because of Vin.

No one will ever be as good as Vin Scully. No one. If anyone represents the greatness and the heart of America, it’s Vin Scully, and he does it the most basic of American sense, by quality. No flashiness, no gimmicks, just greatness day in and day out. The man who helped sell more radios than music itself, the golden voice… just being the best because he never tried to do anything but do his part.

Just watch. And then listen. Scully knows that he can’t add anything to the moment. And while I realized that I am doing what he didn’t, build the spectacle, that’s why it’s so special. That little bit of humility, the “I forgot to tell you..” Jesus, by doing nothing he makes it all the better.

He’s not a hero, but he’s equally important in the scheme of things, he gives us heroes when we need them most. And with not for the slightest of thoughts, he makes it all the more special.

(continued...)

football, love in three ways, and The Wire. I'll likely edit this if I care.

Rather than do a boring, and repetitive, NFL predictions post:

My guess: Colts over the Redskins. Even after a week in.

Other possible Super Bowls:

Carolina over New England

Indianapolis over Arizona (against all odds, why the hell not)

Philly over Baltimore

Chicago over Indianapolis.

+++++

I really would like to do a long post on The Wire. But when the New York Times and Washington Post is allowing it’s writers to spend weekly columns touting it as the best show in American History, I’m going for brevity over the usual gushing admiration.

As such, I had 3 moments this year when I knew I fell in love with a piece of art.

1. Reading the Brothers Karamazov on GY shifts, and getting about 300 pages in, and even in the moments before any sense of plot going on thinking to myself “I can’t wait to read more. Not even that, I can’t stop thinking about this book even when I am reading it.”

I cannot recommend the Brothers K enough. It’s one of the top 5 books I have ever read. It’s a book whose plot is about very little but it’s a novel which is about life, in entirety.

2. Listening to the Rakes “Strasbourg” and “The World was a mess but his Hair was perfect.” The latter is a 18 minute song that goes out of it’s way to be a song that isn’t 5 minutes, 10 minutes, but to go the level of 18 minutes.

Funeral for a friend is only 11 minutes long, and it has three parts to it.

My favorite song ever made, and no doubt owing to it’s length, is “You Can’t always get what you want” by the Rolling Stones. It’s 7:28.

It’s a full minute longer than both the 1812 overture and Rhapsody in Blue.

The only single (non live) track longer I can think of is Echoes by Pink Floyd (off Meddle).

It’s almost an exercise in lulling the attention of the listener away from the song with it’s simplicity. There are no drastic shifts in time change, no remolding of the melody. The only real pretension of the song is that it’s really, really long. The key to it is that it keeps bringing you back to the song, using only hooks and guitar riffs.

And I’m not even sure if it’s the best version of such an exercise. It’s highly likely another band could take the formula – only riffs, driving bass line and high hat backing mixed with guitar riffs and vocal smattering --- because it’s a simple exercise that any garage band could do. But to have a signed band release such a single is kind of what makes “The world was a mess but his hair was perfect” so special, that it’s out there, and it’s a hell of a lot of fun to listen to. Because it’s not meant to be part of the bands select tracks (as far as I know about it, it’s best use was for models on the catwalk at the Dior Homme fashion show).

But there is a time and place for this song. And about 22 seconds in, when the faint guitar strumming comes in over the bass, it’s a feeling of love. Maybe a base sensibility of having the fantastical out there within reach.

As for Strasbourg, it’s at the 1:57 mark. Hearing the musical countdown in German, and then hearing the song get into a guitar burn, where the lead and backing guitar fuse into a complementary stream of rock, that gets me feeling a little bit better every time.

As for #3, it came after watching The Wire.

The Wire is the only show that is more complicated and less inviting to new viewers than Arrested Development. One cannot come into the series run in the middle, they won’t be able to follow and they likely will not be able to enjoy.

Arrested Development works this for repeat viewings, having jokes that are told in the reverse direction of the shows’ episodic format (i.e. there are at least 5 jokes about Buster losing his hand that are seamlessly interjected episodes 2, 5, and even 15 episodes before he the act takes place). That’s part of why Arrested Development was so special. It was made to reward the fans who watch the episodes a second time.

The Wire doesn’t offer such a joy. To the first time viewer, it’s almost punishing to come in to a show where there are, no hyperbole, 50 characters that are essential the story of the series. The first season is the only one which has any sense of late comer accessibility, but after that point in the series run, it’s a moot point. I have read the term “visual novel” applied in numerous reviews, and while that’s as fair of a comparison as there can be made for metaphors, it’s almost slighting the written word, because by the middle of season 3 and onto season 4, joining the Wire isn’t like coming into a book halfway through, there are 2 other books that have to be read beforehand.

No matter how great someone says The Wire is, and most of the greatness of the show can be attributed to its depth (in character, story, development, and atmosphere) and that’s the drawback. To get the full joy of it, the only place to start is back at episode 1. Meaning that if someone wants to enjoy watching the episodes on air right now, they will be out 40 hours of time and X amount of dollars to track down the episodes. I mean, that’s a hell of a lot to give up just for a TV show.

And for a cop show.

And I’ll say on record, as I have many times in conversation about TV, I hate cop shows. Especially since Law and Order and CSI are what people consider TV shows to be.

Every decade since TV’s inception, one cop drama or another has been one of the most highly touted and most heavily watched shows on the medium.

The reasons are simple:

The resolution is simple: Capture the bad guy.
The process of doing so, a simple point A to point B plot structure, can be extrapolated to such great heights that it raises the bar higher each new “great show” that comes along.
The viewer feels that good is being upheld and bad is removed from society.

Let’s list:

The Fugitive (the original series) lasted as a serial drama that captured the minds of the 60’s and 70’s audiences in record fashion, with the finale being the highest rated show at it’s time.

And while standard by today’s measures, shows like Hawaii 5-0, Dragnet, and even stuff like Perry Mason and Matlock entertained in the 70’s and the Septuagenarians.

The 80’s saw the “revolutionary” Hill Street Blues (quotations because it’s so commonplace now in cop and med shows that it’s hard to recognize this for what it was, an accepted evolution of the creators to the reality of the world) and the flashy and brilliant Miami Vice.

The 90’s had NYPD Blue, a show which main appeal was it’s grittiness and realism, showing a dark process and murky morality about the enforcers of the law. This decade also spawned Law and Order, which isn’t noteworthy beyond the fact that a Network Exec decided to have a show where attractive actors played out the more interesting real life cases of the day. It could have happened in any decade, it just happened to be in the 90’s. And while I am remiss to not laud Homicide: Life on the Street or Murder One, the highest praise I can give is that they were great… for their day.

As a cop show, the first season of the Wire is just an evolution of the continued improvement in cop shows on TV. It’s probably the best single season of any cop show ever made, and if The Wire did nothing more than continue on this path, it would have taken at least 10 years for something to be better, that’s how the bar was raised, but the bar was not raised out of reach, mere time would have put it in reach.

And all right, screw brevity.

When season 2 starts, the opening episode is puzzling, confusing, shocking, and then completely engrossing once again, in that order.

It starts out with the main character (McNulty) who was demoted to the harbor duty after sticking it to the wrong people through the course of the first seasons events. He picks up a woman in the harbor who apparently jumped to her death. 40 minutes later, there are 13 other corpses, and a new murder mystery.

But along with this new case, there is a new slew of characters… not three or four, but more like 15 to 20. And from this the show seemingly has morphed into a cop show where the waterfront of Baltimore is the new locale. Except that the main baddies from the case of the first season are still involved, and that their lives are connected ever so slightly.

The 14 murders wind up being solved over the course of the 13 episodes, but by the time it’s done, it’s a second thought, because the bad guy is a lost point and the wrecked lives of the case’s impact is nothing short than devastating.

And while the end montage is one of the best pieces of filmmaking I have ever seen, I can’t help but be hurt by the punishing nature of the coda, all that was for this moment has been changed, and all due to simple greed to get a little more. When the character the montages bookmarks walks away and closes the season, what at once seemed like an excursion or tangent to supplement the series when the storyline of the first season was weakened from internal circumstances suddenly becomes the point of the show. This is life in America, not at it’s best, but at it’s worst. The Wire was from season 1 a cop show in Baltimore. From season 2 it was a TV show about Baltimore, the problems of a forgotten city, the lives of those below the upper class and specifically those just below the middle class and those far from the lower class standards.

If season 1 was about the corners and drug life of Baltimore, and season 2 was about the docks, 3 is about politics. It introduces a new main character in a Mayoral candidate, but more than bringing a new character, it adds to the new dimension for the show. And well, let’s just say any talk of realism in an Aaron Sorkin West Wing is shot to hell with The Wire season 3.

Good people are punished for making the right change. Bad tendencies of better thinking men flow again in dire times. The wrong people die, and yet they are killed by the right villians.

Side note: The character of Omar is one of the top 10 in TV history. Well, he’s probably #10. A gay black ghetto hitman. Who only robs from drug dealers. And who works with the cops. And never swears. And always whistles the same tune (I can’t remember if it’s farmer in the dell or Peter and the Wolf) when he roams the streets. The word dynamic is what fits Omar, and yet since the critical community finds words in thesaurus and then slowly propagate them to the level of intellectual and then common vernacular (previous and current entries include: duality, myriad, jubilant, amalgam, reformative) I am want to search for another. But fuck it. Dynamic works because he is a character that is the meaning of the word, in all cross references:

Activating, aggressive, ballsy, changing, charismatic, compelling, driving, effective, electric, energetic, energizing, enterprising, forceful, forcible, high-powered, hyped up, influential, intense, lively, lusty, magnetic, potent, powerful, productive, progressive, strenuous, vehement, vigorous, vital, vitalizing.

He is a part of the scheme that represents the worst of the situation in the fact that as a drug robber, he is leeching off the worst of the society he lives in. But his cods of ethics is so valid and his means almost admirable, it’s hard not to like the guy.

In season three, the show makes the leap from great to all time classic. From tackling the idea of race as an issue of individuals in contrast to the mass with an approach that it’s all negative futility, yet it’s not impossible sensibility. The show makes a cogent argument about legalizing drugs, showing the process, the downfalls, the upsides, the betterment for a community and the devastation inherent, and even in the wake of all the problems, it’s the first non-Libertarian assertion that it’s not a bad idea that I actually gave heed to.

And it’s not just that the show is willing to take risks. Any fool with a budget and a premise can get that from the right exec in the right mood. To do it once with great skill, yet in a familiar setting, and to succeed fantastically is the Wire season 1. To keep pushing the same boundaries, yet to due it in new scenarios that seem abstract, and then only to tie it all in, well, that’s the Wire.

Is The Wire the best show on TV? With Sopranos off the air for a while, Arrested Development gone, and The Simpsons close to a third renaissance, maybe, by default.

But comparison is hard, because The Wire is far better on DVD or OnDemand, because it’s a show that is much easier to enjoy in multiple episode succession.

And yet, even if this is a show someone is to take in a week at a time, it’s hard to call it the best show on TV because one could point the reactionary response to it (it’s realistic, it must be good) the theme song (terrible at first, but in one of the smartest moves in TV history, they change it every run) or the sheer ambition which almost makes it a daunting undertaking of consumption.

And I go back to the notion that the problem for the show for newbies is the same as it is for fans.

It’s punishing.

In the viewing sense, this is a consumer choice; take it or leave it if that’s the preference. But for those who watch the show, it’s a different impact of the same level. It’s almost not worth seeing. This is a show that tells of no good, focuses on the worst of our problems, and offers no easy, if any outs.

But why get into The Wire? Because the punishment is gain by pain. It’s not only brilliant, and one of the ten best shows in history, but it’s the mark when TV has surpassed film.

If you want to compare Best Picture winners of the Oscars vs. TV, in the span of the last 15 years, TV has been gaining with shows like The Simpsons, Seinfeld, Newsradio, and The Sopranos. And now, with The Wire out there, I think it almost futile to consider going over this territory again.

Being a fan of The Wire is like being in a secret club. Few watch it, few care to know about it, but for those who do share a bond of hope.

Season 4 being is an indictment of transformative brilliance on America’s school system. It’s not a club of snobs, but people who crave realism in life. No escapes exist in The Wire, only problems with no answers.

And you get the feeling that those making the show could change all that. They could change perceptions, assuage fears, arise awareness.

Yet the whole wave of critics seems to be talking as if missing this show is to miss the essence of life itself; to not watch The Wire is akin to not caring about life, to not care about art, to not care about the problems of America, and Americans.

It’s exactly that, but they fail to consider that this isn’t a program for the everyday person. Regardless of the show, it could suck and it could be genius.

They should simply say: If you consider yourself a well versed and intelligent person in America and the rest of the Anglo and Gaelic world; you should watch this show.

Is it the best show ever made?

Maybe.

But it is certainly the best dramatic show made for the most verbally vocal sect of the world, the intellectuals.

That’s for sure. But to be fair, the only reason critics triumph the show is for this reason, so it doesn’t go away. We want shows like The Wire, which don’t devolve intelligence to Aaron Sorkin levels of mass acceptance. It’s as it is.

And yeah, The Wire is the best show on television. For all the heartbreak and problems. Even if every victory is tempered by the overwhelming truth of slow progression against an unbeatable foe. Knowing that there is something out there that can warm your heart by showing the worst of humanity, simply because it cares for the best of the world, well, that's heroic. And for the 4th season to care about kids, and to think about a cop show dedicating itself to outlying the problems of education in the USA.

Clearly, I will always love heroes, especially those who care about kids.

(continued...)

As if the nerd quotient wasn't high enough

you tube clip of the month for August.

The Simpsons!
Star Trek!

A guy who vaguely resmbles Ben Rothlisgerger. I'm not excited about that, but it's kind of neat.

A THEREMIN!!!!

(continued...)

Long work on the VMA's

By the end of it all, I uttered the words: “Just let Panic win. It’s the only fitting conclusion.” (click on the link for this post to see how I really feel)

Since I don’t get paid for this, I am already beat to the punch when it comes to decrying the MTV VMA’s in the blogosphere, but, meh.

Many are calling it the end of the VMA’s, saying it feels more like the Grammy’s than anything. The Grammy’s were the biggest joke in awards shows, that is until about 1999 or 2000, when rap, R&B, and pop artists did something that rock stars never did, care about the awards. Suddenly they became both relevant and terrible.

In the last 20 years of the Grammy’s, two movie soundtracks and two MTV unplugged recordings won the award for Album of the year. And MC Hammer was in the running in 1991.

Of the typical 100 best albums ever made, only maybe three have won, Graceland by Paul Simon, The Joshua Tree by U2, and Sgt. Pepper by the Beatles.

No Nevermind (not even nominated), Dylan didn’t win until 1997 for Time Out of Mind, which beat out Ok Computer. Just look at this list. It’s appalling, and the VMA’s have just approached this level.

Never mind the Emmy’s which nominated someone for a 15 second role. As awards for merit, The VMA’s have always been a mixed bag at best. It’s hard to give awards for music videos, people tend to watch them because of the song and artists, and not because it’s a good video, per say. And it’s doubly hard when the corporate owner of the network is pushing its record labels through the channel to boost sales.

Look at the list of past winners for the Video of the Year . It’s got a pretty good rate, somewhere around 50% of those winners are among the best videos ever made.

Before we continue, I am going to digress here. The biggest news in music in the last month is not an Emo band winning the video of the year (since 2000 this has essentially been the artist of the year award), but that LA’s last and for a while only country music station changed formats, from country to Hip-hop/reggaton to boost ratings (a clear attempt to get listeners from the new and hugely successful Latino 96.3).

The easy notion is that LA is a multi-ethnic town, and that nobody listens to country here. This is wrong, for two reasons:

1. Attractive women (like those in this city) love country. It’s a phenomenon, if she’s over an 8, she has a Garth Brooks or Faith Hill song on their Ipod.
2. LA is the biggest market, in album and ticket sales, for country music in the USA.

This is the latest in a long slide towards the lowest common denominator in what is supposed to be a niche market, and the corporate forces behind are the ones pushing the backwards reasoning.

Never mind that the rating systems are completely flawed, the reaction comes from the data given and not to the facts, so let’s focus on that. Since 1999-2000, music sales have changed in almost every facet possible.

The big ticket (meaning money for the backer) Music artists are predominately Pop and or Urban, and many of them double as movie stars, makeup salesmen, fashion billboards.

The recent boom of alternative modes of non radio music (Ipods, CD players, Satellite Radio) pushed the market share from the haves to the have nots on radio.

There is a steadfast refusal for most radio stations to tinker with their formats, debasing the airtime to only proven sellers and not risky alternatives. In the event that a format switch succeeds, there is the copy-cat effect (such as KZLA changing from country to compete with other stations in an already saturated market). I love Indie 103.1, yet I know that everyday when I get in my car, the odds of it being taken off the air are minimal, but not impossible.

Downloading music scared anyone selling music so much; it sparked a fear in them to sell only to those they knew were sure bets. Combine this with the sales sensations of that flashpoint, and that’s what we have been force fed via the radio and MTV since the turn of the millennium: Britney clones and Hip hop stars.

The sad fact is that the numbers back them up, and prove that the are making the right “financially viable,” and hence, there isn’t an indicator to prove to them that they are inherently wrong.

From VH1: “Other stars on the list of the year's 100 top grossers — including Paul McCartney, Mötley Crüe, Bruce Springsteen, the Eagles and Elton John — helped move a total of more than 36.1 million tickets and set a North American box office record of $3.1 billion in sales, even though ticket sales have declined for three consecutive years. In 2004, sales topped 37.6 million, down from 38.7 million the year before.”

The most successful concert tours were from artists who sell to the Boomers, who have the most money of any demographic. The reason that Crazy by Gnarls Barkley is such a huge hit is not because every under 25 is buying it, but because people over 25 have something new to listen to, that is made as music and transcends the niche’s that music labels are focusing on.

Anyway…

The reason I tie this all into the VMA’s is because in spite of this change of who was performing or nominated over the last few years, the Awards Show was always something to watch. It, along with the MTV Movie Awards, was among the highlights of the channel. There is always something that happens that is water cooler worthy. Whether it’s a Fiona Apple rant, a Nirvana bass player hitting himself over the head with his own guitar, Kurt Cobain calling out Axl Rose, Britney in her heyday stripping down to a bodysuit, carrying a giant snake (btw, did you hear about that movie snakes on a plain! I wonder where that’s going, I mean, is it in a cornfield or dust plain. Wow. Movies these days). Or a RATM guy going onstage and climbing the set.

The VMA’s were fun. And they were consistent from year to year. The best years were in the 90’s, and maybe the best host was Chris Rock, whose “I wonder why they even turned their mic’s on” lip sync jab was the high point for all hosts.

Rock got what the role was; to take the job seriously, and to make jokes for the TV crowd, but not to take the artists too seriously. He gave N*Sync crap, he realized what a goofy moment Lil Kim and Diana Ross was.

In the 80’s and 90’s, the VMA’s served as MTV’s proving ground to the music world, by which I mean the artists themselves. They were selling their legitimacy and tried to prove that they belong. They honored the old greats and celebrated the newcomers.

The performances of the artists could be self serving, but a couple of them became legendary. RHCP’s performance in 1991 or 1992 where people came onstage and just had a huge dance scene was one of the cooler moments in Rock on TV. This was a place where artists could come and prove themselves. A great performance could help an artist make the leap.

Pearl Jam and Neil Young performing Rockin’ in the free world had my parents talking about Pearl Jam. That’s huge.

And then my favorite moment, performance wise:

I have this recording on my Itunes, and I had it on my winamp. I can’t love it enough.



Sure it’s almost subliminal on my part to demonstrate the greatness of the Boss, but this was a fucking moment. A fucking ROCK AND ROLL MOMENT. This was a old legend who was raised on Bob Dylan, giving homage to him by performing with his son. I could write about the beauty of Rock and Roll artists and knowing the moment, but to be fair with this example, Bruce comes in and blows Jakob Dylan out of the water, making One Headlight sound like a lost track from the Born in the USA era.

This is why I loved the VMA’s and would look forward to them. But the last two (2004 and 2005) was like watching SNL today. It was a shadow of its old grace, and nigh blasphemous to carry the same name.

I place the transition point from great to shit on the 2004 show. There was no host, it was in Miami and not LA or New York. This is important because the crowds in the MIA suck. Watch a Dolphins, Heat, or Marlins game, they couldn’t be less enthusiastic. For the Heat, the owners knew they had no home court advantage and went with the “put the whole lower section in white clothes gimmick,” which is kind of unnecessary since they had the refs on their side as well.

First off. They didn’t have a host. They built the show up in promos by having Dave Chappelle in them, but he was only featured as a performer/guest, not as a host.

And the worst moment, and where I actually witnessed the show jump the shark, you know, with Miami being so close to the ocean and sharks and all, was when Will Smith came out and introduced Shaq to Miami. (I tried to find it on Youtube but then I gave up and went to the can. Then came back and went on Askjolene.com. Looked at porn for a bit, decided that 3 in a day is pushing it, got a beer, and then came back. Then looked at petiteteenager.com and found a girl who looked like an ex, drank the beer, and then decided that everyone in the US who hates Oasis sucks. And then linked this-



Shed a tear. And then decided to get back to the point)

Will Smith came out, yelled at the crowd to get up, and then introduced Shaq to Miami. First off, why would a guy from Philla would want to celebrate the most dominant center ever coming to a team in the 76’ers division? Especially one who beat down the 76’ers in the 2001 finals? Especially one who tried to be a rapper, and was in Kazaam, (both fields that could challenge Will Smith) and a guy who starred in one of the worst videogames of all time, Shaq FU (really, looking at the videogames from the NES and SNES is like looking back at 80’s films, they both elicit that “Jesus what were these guys on” feeling). Why did this need to take 6 minutes of actual screen time? All it was were cheers for two people in Miami. And why did this, the trade of a NBA player, deserve to be shown on MTV during the networks showcase event?

If you answered on the side of MTV on that one, well, you’re more likely to get a job offer from them than I am.

This year’s show had some stuff going for it. Jack Black as the host, who with Sarah Michelle Gellar did a great job with the MTV movie awards a few years back. The Raconteurs as the house band; while I’m not nuts about them, I thought this was a pretty good idea. They involved a rock god in Lou Reed, having him both play with the Non-White Stripes, and present an award with Pink (who is at the level of “if I saw you at a bar, I’d offer to buy you a drink level of appreciation).

The sad thing is that most of these ideas bombed. Jack Black sucked. And I hate to say that, because before 2006, he never let me down (I didn’t see Spanish Napoleon Dynamite as a wrestler). He withered when he should have ruled. And the show followed suit.

The highlight of the show… well there wasn’t one. The water cooler moment would be the guy from MTV6000.com crashing the best video of the year award. Just one of the lamest, and most Izzle-ish moment possible. If you are going to be a shameless self promoter, upstage P. Diddy or Kanye West (who once again made a TV appearance needlessly racial in his intro for Hype Williams), not a bunch of polite weirdos from Vegas. Kanye would fight the guy even before he stopped to think of the irony of upstaging someone during an awards show for your own reasons.

If Jack Black had any balls, he would have made fun of some of the artists. The only one who did this directly was Sarah Silverman, and she struggled. The people who did this the best were the Jackass Crew, who did everything but call Panic! At the Disco gay when they handed them the Viewer’s Choice award.

+++++

MTV needs to take their voting and nominations seriously. If you are going to award for the best of the year, include the best of the year. Don’t turn into the Teen Choice or Viewer’s Choice Awards. Pick the best videos, not the most popular.

Instead MTV picks Red Hot Chilli Peppers Dani California (MTV and RHCP are like the Oscars and Scorsese, always nominated and never takes home the big one), Shakira Hips don’t lie, Hung Up by Madonna, Ain’t no Other Man by Xtina, and Panic’s regular people suck (or whatever, I’m not going to dignify Emo titles by writing the whole thing out). Really, that’s the best they can come up with. Two mainstay acts with weak videos (for them) an ok Aguilera video, a Shakira video that has good cinematography but nothing else. And a video that makes me miss the goth-nerds of My Chemical Romance.

Before I get to my list… awards the videos that are made from directors given a chance to make their bones, and they do so in a way that is both commercial and artistic, rather than giving due to those who have already made it (and I know, Fix you is done by Sophie Miller, but I want to see the music videos up for best of the year to be music videos as art, and videos for the music.)

Dave’s top videos from Mid 2005 to now.

Coldplay’s Fix You:



From 9-2005: “The rise of the song hits full steam and the band plays all out, and just when you think you’ve seen the video level, Martin turns the microphone to the crowd, and you can get the full effect of what it’s like to be in a stadium when everyone is sharing the same moment. It’s done so well it seems more like a thoroughly genuine twist, and not a gimmick. Few videos have ever been able to capture the live experience. This one not only does so grandly, the mashup with a traditional video proscenium is a minor revelation. It seems all the more amazing that no one has ever tried this before in the 30 odd years of the submedia. Thank god Coldplay and Sophie Muller did it right the first time. This is one for the ages.”

Now: Firstly, white trainers with a black track suit. Where was Gwyneth on this one Mr. Paltrow?

The fireworks shot. It doesn’t get any less potent. Going to the crowd is like the moment in everybody hurts when Michael Stipe finally sings. It’s the emotional release in a heavy song, and done at just the right moment in the video. One of the all time great “I need a cry” song and videos.

Bad Day by the guy who sounds like, but isn’t James Blunt, but is Daniel Powter. (I’ve already linked this once, so, go find it yourself)

Here it goes again by OK Go (a gimmick video done damn well). Take a look.



I saw this ONCE on MTV2. Really, really fun. And a great song too, so much that I am taking them off the list of “artists I don’t want to hear again because I heard them on the Madden soundtrack 8 billion times.” Only Andrew WK and Green Day have come away from that prison.

Lightning Blue Eyes – The Secret Machines.



Messing with the audio mixing. Long tracking shots. Showing the band in small bits to maximal effect. The circular motions of the action and camera. All done well without seeming showy or needless. And the theme of the video, to show a performance by a band that hasn’t hit it big, but slowly wins over the crowd at a small bar; I’ll always go for that.

M.I.A. – Bucky Done Gun.



Any video that captures the audio schizophrenia of this song warrants mentioning. Any video where a person is behind the wheel of the car and does the old 40’s style of over-emphasizing the steering is in my heart for Looney Toons reasons.

This is one of the arguments against moving away MTV (and before it Eisenstein style) editing. The video wouldn’t work without fast cuts. Plus M.I.A. nails her persona and style in her performance, lobbing grenades, shooting her fingers off, and embodying her own brand of sexiness that Nelly Furtado had to couple with Timbaland (read sell out)to get across. (and I know MIA worked with Missy, I don’t care. Missy probably bought her beats from someone minor and sold them to MIA at 400% value. I don’t care!)

I don’t expect to see this kind of lineup dominate the nominations, but there has to be something better than what they chose.

Closing thoughts:

You could feel the audience getting restless with most of the acts performing. Especially during the Hype Williams tribute. Instead of having live performances of songs almost 10 years old, why not show some of the videos themselves?

With most of the presenters and comedians, the same restless air was there. When 50 and LL Cool J came up for best female video, they talked about repping their hood for a full minute, and you could see people getting up to go the bathrooms. Maybe it was the fact that it was the award for best female video, or maybe it was due to the 90% white crowd, but I doubt this would have gone over well at the Source awards. They did nothing fun, it was purely self-serving, and it dragged like a dog ass after a shit on the lawn.

Lou Reed snubbing AFI. Just amazing. Single-handedly redeemed his involvement in the show after the Raconteurs mangled “White Light/White Heat” with him in it. You can tell he’s not a fan. My guess is that he took these straight edge emo losers and tried to talk them into the virtues of Cocaine, heroin, red meat, and above all, Blues Based rock and roll. Just a hunch.

TI just sucked live. And I actually like the guy.

The MTV2 award needs to be about bands and artists that aren’t mainstream or even kind of big. If they are going to continue with the main award being for big acts, make this the one for the music fans in cult size, not just Emo kids and up and comers. Make the choices “Untitled 1” by Siguer Ros or “Blood and Thunder” by Mastodon, or any one of the videos I listed above. Make it for the few people left in the world who watch MTV and VH1’s alternative and the old 120 minutes fans.

Most of the artists and presenters seemed kind of miffed at the lack of rock included. The cycle of hip-hop dominance is coming to an end. People are getting over it. While I have been wishing for this for a while, I didn’t see any signs. This was the sign. This was the moment. This was one of the Backstreet Boys entering rehab. This was the precursor to the moment when Nirvana supplanted Poison and Motley Crue. I know this is coming now. My educated guess for where music is going to mainstream wise? Metal/ Hair Metal and bombastic rock and roll. Maybe I’m reading too much into something like Metal SKool, but I get the feeling America misses this kind of music, and with all of the post Gen-X kids who are into the immediate and not the ironic, Metal seems like a pretty obvious path.

MTV America needs to take a page from MTV Europe when it comes to these awards, and dissociate Best Video from Best Artist. If Eminem was to win best video (which he did, twice) it should have been for his best video, Stan, and not for The Real Slim Shady and Without Me. Missy Elliot’s Work it beating Johnny Cash and Mark Romanek’s Hurt for best video of the year is a fucking shame. Sure she had a big year on MTV, but that’s one of the best videos of all time. (Give me a sec to finish this up).

There needs to be an award for Best Artist and Best Song. There really needs to be an award for Best Album. And they really should choose the best videos (and air them) for the award for Best Video of the Year. While there are a small number of people like me who really like music videos as an art form, the people who watch the show do like to see a great video win, if only to see something like “Virtual Insanity” or “Tonight, Tonight” on MTV more often.

Back to Johnny Cash and Hurt.

When Trent Reznor heard the song and saw the video his response was: “I pop the video in, and wow… Tears welling, silence, goose-bumps… Wow. I just lost my girlfriend, because that song isn't mine anymore. … It really made me think about how powerful music is as a medium and art form. I wrote some words and music in my bedroom as a way of staying sane, about a bleak and desperate place I was in, totally isolated and alone. [Somehow] that winds up reinterpreted by a music legend from a radically different era/genre and still retains sincerity and meaning—different, but every bit as pure.”

This is Bob Dylan to Jimi Hendrix in regards to “All Along the Watchtower.” Hurt is a Johnny Cash song now. He does the same thing to Reznor that the Boss did to Wallflowers; he turned a cover song into a song that was written for him by an unknown songwriter, it was just performed by the writer first before it found the voice that it needed.

And the video is, well, just one of those things. I can’t even watch it without crying. The ultimate tribute by Romanek and the encapsulation of the Man in Black as a whole in just under 4 minutes. Maybe it could be called self-serving, but when you reach that near death plateau where it’s only a matter of time, you’re allowed that level of grandiose reflection. When you are Johnny Cash, you’re allowed to cover any song you want; if you are at the moments before death, you have three choices:

1. Totter into antiquity.
2. Say your goodbyes and the last I love you’s.
3. Go out in style, with an impulse to leave them wanting more, fueled from happiness and satisfaction with what you have accomplished, but done with an air of you’ll miss you when I’m gone. Cash knew he was dying, and yet there is a swagger to this. He knows he is killing this song. He knows that it’s his now. He knows it means more for him than it could ever mean for a depressed musical talent. And you hate him for it. Because it means that you won’t get any more of an artist who did it his way.

Dave’s list of All Time Great Videos, # 14:



I don’t believe in Heaven, per se, but I hope it exists, because I want the chance to meet Johnny Cash. I don’t care how long I have to wait in line.

(continued...)

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